Friday, March 02, 2012
What happened to the last months? My last blog post was May 7, 2011. That's getting darned close to a year ago. Those days vanished.
Since May 7, I've ended one job, worked to start my own business, passed all my exams to be a Certified Professional Co-Active coach and add more letters (CPCC) after my name, gotten sidetracked a zillion times, spent countless hours with a new friend who needed my time (and I needed to do something with it), had that friend turn pretty firmly against me, met 27 amazing new people in a 10-month long program I'm doing in Co-Active Leadership, mowed my own lawn and shoveled my own driveway, thought about inviting a dog into my home and life, covered the gamut of emotions and moods, and not written about it here.
Partly, I haven't written here because I got my own professional website up and running and I'm blogging over there. But that's different blogging. Here, with you folks, I can be a bit more vulnerable and bit less professional. (If you're curious about that blog and website, send me a SparkMail.)
So here's what else I've done since May 7: I've gained back FORTY pounds. FORTY.
I hadn't stepped on the scale for a long time. Every time I did, it seemed to go in the wrong direction. I would want in my head to make the changes to reverse the direction, but somehow, I'm not finding the joyous motivation I had when I started this whole thing.
I know that if I have a couple of cocktails in the evening, my carb cravings kick in and my mental inhibitions and defenses fall away. And yet, there are times when I really want a glass of wine or a cocktail.
I know that French Fries aren't good for me and I know that I had strategies for eating just a few and leaving the rest. My motivation isn't there to do that.
Finances and a spat with the owners about my trainer led to a separation from my gym. Dawn the Tormentor, no longer with the gym, comes to my house to train me, but I know I'm not getting as much cardio as I was.
I'm trying to find my mojo again. So, as of today, I'm putting one foot on the hub of the wagon wheel and beginning to hoist myself up onto the wagon.
Is anybody there to welcome me back?