Karrie's 2012 Weight Loss Journey Blog 3

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Hey Yawl,

I know, I know. I haven't Blogged in well over 2 Months. Just really nothing Exciting, Happening or New to report.

I coulda Blogged about Tax Time but, that woulda just Stressed me out more. If your not on my Friend's List, then you know now, I HATE Tax Time. I can't stand it. I feel like I'm under a IRS Accountant's Financial Microscope. WHAT WAS THAT FOR, WHY DID YOU DO THIS, HOW MUCH WAS HERE & THERE? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! I HATE people who THINK, they can CONTROL your Life. Granny always said I was Free to do as I pleased. Well she forgot to tell me about Uncle Sam & he's GREEDY Henchmen. I go to Work almost everyday & fer WHAT?? Just so, I can pay fer someone to sit there at Government Hill & get paid $250 K a Year & make it LOOK like they're working fer us? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's about Time, us Americans STAND UP & ask fer a New Government System. The one they have in place now, is driving us further in DEBT & not helping the Elderly, Severally Sick, Low Poverty Strickin, Etc.... Anyways, ENOUGH about Taxes & Politics. Another thing that Granny always said. NEVER,NEVER, NEVER talk about Politics & or Religion unless you had a stronger Backbone than the person your talking about that certain Subject.

Anyways, getting back to the Last 2 Months. Like I said earlier nothing real Exciting & or New to report. I work, Come Home, Do Household Chore, Eat, Sleep. Go back to Work, Come Home, Etc.... Kinda BORING don't ja think. I DO. LOL Not that I have a Boring Life, Far from it. I help enrich my Clients Life by helping them Clean their Homes, Re Organize their Lifestyles, Help them become free from Clutterful Stress. It's a good Life, don't get me wrong. I'm just caught in this Mid Life portion of my Lifetime Journey. (And NO, I'm not talking about my Spark Weight Loss Journey) I mean Lifetime Journey. The one we all start, right after we're born.

I've told a couple of my Spark Friends about this already. I NEED & WANT a CHANGE. Ever since I was 10, I've NEVER lived in one place longer than 3-5 Years. Being shipped from One part of the East Coast to the other Side of the West Coast & Back again, has a lot to do with this Fact. There's the other Fact that my First Husband & I had to move around a lot within the City Limits due to Bad Finances too. Now, it's 2012 & I've lived in this Apt. fer well over 6 Years. Count the another Apt, that's on the same Property & well, I've been in One Location over 9 1/2 Years altogether. I'm at my Wits End. I WANT & NEED to Move. I can't stand being here no more. The Rent is due to go up to $900 in June, They haven't done anything to Upgrade the Stove, Oven or any other Large Household Appliance. They haven't Re Painted, Fixed Holes (Which I know is our fault but, still), Upgrade the Light Fixtures, NO Nothing. Back in 2007 we were paying $ 645 & now they want $900 increase & no Updating the Place? Can someone say GET REAL!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!! My second Husband Chris now, is wanting to stay. He wants to “Settle Down” & enjoy his Retirement in 20 Years from now. 20 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!! OH DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, I'm tiring like Double Toothpicks to MAKE HIM see it my way. We NEED more Space, We DESERVE like a HOUSE or CONDOMINIUM fer the Price we're going to be paying in June. The Male Brain, HUMPH!!!!!!!!!!! He keeps wanting to STAY & no matter, “How Much” I love him, I'm going to pack up & leave. That's how bad I want out of here. My skin is crawling to get out of here. I go to Work & love that I have my Freedom from here. Then after I'm done, I dread coming back to it. It's just that bad. But, until I can afford to GET OUT of here, I'm STUCK.

The only way I can explain myself is through Our Weight Loss Journey. I'm DEFINITELY not confront able in this Fat Suit. I don't know anybody that is Fat or even Fatter than me, that doesn't feel the same way. I'm screaming to GET Out of it & back to my Normal Weight. I have Nightmares that I'm NEVER going to be under 200. I even have Nightmares that I'm reaching 300, then 400 & looking like Eddie Murphy's Professor Klump. OH DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No Offense to those of you that are 300-500 Lbs. I just don't want to get THAT Big. The same goes to GET OUT of this Apt. I even have Nightmares that I'm Ole n Grey, around 70-80 Years old & still here & paying like $ 1,500 a Month. I'm not Happy here. And if I'm not Happy, I do what? Yepp, I FEED it, to feel better.

I know moving will be GREAT fer me. If we get a House & it has a Basement or Garage, I'm CLAIMING IT as my SPACE. My DOMAIN. Then I can set up my Exercise Equipment & get moving. Until then, I'm stuck with working around Hubby & Alex (Our Roommate) fer any Time with my Exercise Videos & getting the Living Room to myself. Which right now, isn't working out too well. Alex goes to Work, Comes Home, is In/Out of the Bathroom/Kitchen all Night/Day until he goes to Work again & Chris is the same but, likes to sit in the Living Room to watch TV & or play Video Games, while getting up to Eat or Drink. So, that only leaves me a Small Window of 4-6 Hours to myself, 5 Nights a Week. Simple enough & NO EXCUSES RIGHT??????????? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the Problem. I have my Life & Business to think about in this equation too. I have Clients all Week long, in the Early Morning to Mid Morning Hours. I get Home around the time the Boys go to Work. Most of the time I'm too tired to do anything & only leaves my Days Off to Exercise & or handle Personal/Business affairs. By the time I get done with the Chores around our Home, Chat with Business Clients,Etc... I'm too tired to do Exercise, let alone do anything else. As I see it, I'm just SCREWED!!!!! My only Idea is to MAKE the Biggest Loser, put me on the Ranch. That way I can devote all my Time, to Exercise. But, to do that, I MUST GAIN another 20 plus Lbs. LOL.

Time Management is what I need but, I'm not finding the Room to get in my Workouts. SIGH!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess I'll have to take my own Advice to a Dear Friend on here. I told her, to do some HARD THINKING & ask questions about what “I” want in Life. If I”I” want to lose this Weight, then “I” will have to FIT a Schedule or Drop some Clients to get to my Goal. (Which the Client part, isn't something I can do. I need Clients to make a Living.) So, I'll have to try the only other alternative I have. When Hubby comes to Bed, Get up 1 Hour earlier than I normally do & get in my Workouts. If not, BITE THE Bullet & MAKE myself do Workouts after I get Home from Work. It'd just be easier to get my Dream House, than putting myself on such a Program to where, all I do is Get Up Workout, Work, Get Home Eat, Workout, Eat again, Sleep, Get up & do it all over again & again. I'm going to see an early Grave by the time I'm 45. YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, I'll be THIN!!!!!!!!!!

Well, that was a Keyboard Full. It almost takes up 2 Full Pages on my regular Journal, I have on this Computer. Plus, it's almost Bedtime. Don't know when I'll Blog again. Writing & Typing never became a Second Nature to me & probably never will. If I've got something to say, I'll write/type it. If not, I won't. I do find that I Love typing little Notes, Here & There in my Friend's Feed, more than I Write/Type in my Personal/ Spark Blog so, if you want to keep in Touch, you'll have to be on my Friend's List. For all of you that are already on there, Chat at you tomorrow.

T.G.I.F Everyone

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Well girlfriend all I can say after reading all that is, I will keep you on my prayer list. Where are you thinking about moving to? Different state or what ? Maybe you might want to consider a state that has a lower cost of living and you will be able to find a nice little house to buy. Well whatever decision you make just be sure it will make you happy.

    Don't exercise yourself to death remember the type of work you do is already exercise. I suggest putting your efforts more into making healthy eating choices since that is part of making a change to a healthy lifestyle. Good luck and HUGS and blessings I'm sending your way !!!
    2087 days ago
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