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    LENELLA   6,414
SparkPoints
5,500-6,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Yes, I am still here!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

I know some of you may have been wondering if I am still here, and still at it. The answer is yes. However, I have been struggling, yet I have never given up.

Truthfully, at times, even keeping track of my calories is overwhelming to me. Especially when I am not sure about how to track them. Take for instance, I make home made chicken broth, but how do I track the nutritional value of it? So do I just use the nutritional value from canned chicken broth? And if so, then what kind? All I want to do is count the freakin' calories, and not go through all the mental gymnastics it takes to track my eating. grrrrrrrrrr

To some, this might seem quite silly, but the truth is, these are the things that mentally cause me to stumble. So I found myself having to step back and take a break from SP, because I needed to mentally get my priorities straight. I had to make sure that I was not putting stumbling blocks in my way to losing weight.

What I mean is that I wanted to do it all. I wanted to blog everyday, I wanted to achieve my SP Points everyday, I wanted to be a best supporter everyday, I wanted to have uninterrupted streaks. Just looking at this list lets me see that I had set myself up for failure from the beginning.

But through all of this, I have retained my desire to continue to make healthy choices, and although I have not been losing the big numbers, I continue to lose weight, and be in good health, which should be my only priority and goal.

Which brings me to my next bit of news. I am totally a nature loving person, and when the weather starts teasing me with nice sunny days, all I want to do is be out in it. Well, my daughter and I went walking twice this week.

That may not sound like much to some of you, but the fact is, I have not been able to walk, as in exercise, outside for about four years. The most exercise I had been able to do is to go to the store, and then lean heavily upon the grocery cart.

Now I did walk with my cane, but my goodness, to be able to walk for a half hour, non-stop, without taking a break...you have no idea what an accomplishment this is for me. So all my efforts of walking in my house has paid off in a big way.

But what has not been working for me is my strength training. I have gone from one injury to another. And it is not that I am doing anything wrong, my body is just refusing to be trained. What has ended up happening, is I have had to spend more time recovering from injuries, than what I have been able to actually do strength training. So for now, I am putting it on hold.

Since the weather is becoming warmer, I am happy with walking. Every time I have lost weight in the past, it is because I have walked. I enjoy walking, I enjoy being out in nature. And the great thing about it is, they have developed a nature preserve, two minutes from my house.

Why is this so great? Because of the area of town I live in, those who would enjoy this sort of place, don't want to come over on this side of town. So when I am there, I am virtually all alone, with nature, which makes me very happy.

I don't have to go far to walk. And I like the base of the walking trail there. Part of it is a boardwalk, and the other is crushed aggregate, which makes walking upon it quite easy. It is solid, yet it gives like a cushion into the ground, and is better for my feet and knees.

We also took Sugar walking with us as well. She absolutely loved it! So I will be taking her with me every time I walk.

Although I have not lost as much weight as what I had intended to do, this has been a time of discovery for me, and I feel confident with the choices I am making.

And the victory comes in the fact that I have not let myself mentally give up. There have been so many times that it would have been easy to just chuck it all, but for the first time in my life, I have no desire to go down that road.

And I truly believe that fast food places are a thing in the past for me. I either get squeamish at the thought of all those calories, or I think about how much money is leaving my pocket. Between both of these things deterrents, I have no desire to eat fast food, especially when I can make things at home that taste much better than anything I can buy out.

If I really want a cheeseburger, then hey, I know it is gonna taste good, and be good for me if I make it at home. And hot wings? That is really my down fall... but I can bake chicken wings, then toss them in a low cal dressing, add a little Parmesan cheese, and it is much better for me, and it satisfies my craving.

These are things that are no longer tricks, but have become a part of my life. I don't need all that stuff that the world advertises that I need. That is their ploy to make money from the suffering of others, and don't even get me started there.

So I am satisfied where I am mentally. And even more than that, I feel victorious. I have become victorious, and have made a mental leap in my life.
So onward and upward to the finish line. I will continue on, and I will be victorious in this journey. :-)
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