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    ASHAIXIM   23,606
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A & I blog : February into March


Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A&I Blog February into March

My Feb stunk. I went to doc and found my numbers were all bad (partly because I got a shot that increased my glucose) and my pain level has been horrid and I was pmsing when I went to doc so that didn't do me any good and I realized today that normally I have SAD this time of year which explains why I keep bopping into depression but not staying and feel like I'm hoovering on the edge all the time (which in a way is worse that just getting into it because at least then you can work on getting through it). So, anyways, my inner kiddie threw a month long tantrum and while I kept trying to get back on track she derailed me after a few days every time. Oh, we also had the audit at my job this month which is pretty much ALL on me, which didn't help the stress any as I was working weekends most of Jan and Feb. (I have a M-F 9-5 job)

Now that I know what the challenges are, am having a plan to actually DO IT and "meet" my inner kiddie this weekend and see if we can establish some doable ground rules I hope to be able to GET back on track and STAY back on track.

The toughest day for me is probably going to be the day I get the results (or if I get them that day then) from my neurosurgeon appointment on 3/15 whom I'm seeing for my neck/cervical spine issue which is causing anywhere from constant "hi there!" pain to sharp shooting "KILL ME!!" pain depending on how I turn my neck, cough, sneeze, etc. I'm NOT a vicodin fan and I actually broke down and got some and went through like 10 of them so far in the past 2-3 months which for me is a LOT! especially since I'm taking 1/2 at a time.

Challenges/gameplan:

Inner kiddie tantrums related to pain, hormones, stress, etc. // "meet" my inner kiddie and work on establishing ground rules and loving on her to reduce anxiety and tantrums. Include acceptable snack "cheats" to allow her to not feel deprived (sugar free and low-carb stuff) (I know this isn't ideal, but if it can allow me to stick to a BETTER diet then it's better than constantly going off and having a bad diet)

Hormones-PMS // keep track and a week before (I was a week early this month) lay in a "PMS SNACK" bag of ON plan goodies (pork rinds, sugar free chocolate)

Stress // work on getting in 5-15 min meditation daily (do my meditation CD's or youtube

Pain // TAKE a pain killer!! I don't like taking them (emotionally/psychologically especially as I work in an environment that deals with a lot of abusers and chronic pain pts who have become addicted) but I know I NEED to rely on them short term

SAD-depression // try to get 10 minutes of sun a day and walk daily.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
NICKI109 3/10/2012 4:45PM

    After reading some blogs, I think February was rough on all of us. I for one can't wait for spring to get here and I think we all think the same thing. Glad to hear you are working through it all one day at a time. I certainly hope your pain lessens and goes away. You are holding it together much better than I believe I would.

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CJWORDPLAY 3/7/2012 9:17PM

    Your strategies are all things that will bring you closer to where you want to be. Challenges like yours are exhausting. I'm so glad you are hanging in there and keeping in touch with those of us who are dealing with similar issues. Thanks. emoticon

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AMYBELLES 3/6/2012 11:14PM

    Bah, February! Some love month! It seems like it was a "killer" for many of us. I hope and pray that March brings you planty of success and lots less pain. You made some fine plans/goals to keep that inner kiddie happy and tantrum-free! I'm wishing you all the best! emoticon emoticon

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CATHYGETSFIT 3/6/2012 3:57PM

    Aw, emoticon to you my friend! I'm so sorry you've been going through so much in the past month or two. I know that pain is nobody's friend especially when you're are trying to do everything right to lose weight. Even though you don't feel like you've made any progress, you have! You haven't given up which is an accomplishment in itself!! So give yourself a big pat on the back for that!

In relation to the SAD thing, have you thought about getting one of those lights that put off the full spectrum of light that you would get from the sun?? I have a friend that use to be a Sparker and she had one of the lamps.

I hope that you and your inner child can come to an agreement this month so that you can start to make more progress. I also hope that you get some good news from the neurosurgeon and can find something to help you to get rid of your pain so that you do not have to take pain meds. In addition, I hope that your stress at work will be gone this month.

I really like your goals that you have set for this month and I like that you have set aside some acceptable cheats for your inner child! I think you will have a good month and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you will!!

emoticon emoticon

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SHANATAV 3/6/2012 9:16AM

    I like your idea about "acceptable cheats"... I think that's such a great idea... Refusing myself something only makes me want it more so it's great to have a back up plan/replacement at the ready!

Good luck in March! Days are getting longer and warmer!

emoticon

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BARBIE176 3/5/2012 6:54PM

    emoticon my friend. I am emoticon that February was not your best month, but emoticon emoticon on not giving up. I truly hope that you and your inner child can come to a workable arrangement this month! Plan ahead and stay focused and emoticon . Hopefully the added stress at work will be gone this month and that will help you immensely! emoticon emoticon

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RAENDROPS 3/3/2012 2:47PM

    I too suffer from SAD; I figure the sun and I just have a very deep connection, and he's gone so much this time of year! But I do know how challenging it can be to get through the winter. I think it's great that you've set goals for different areas of your life; I think that will help you get to your goals for sure!

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RFJSJ50 2/29/2012 11:10PM

    Lou,
The pain I've been having is no where as intense as yours but I know how it has affected my progress and mindset for the past month! I can only imagine how much worse you feel than I do.
BUT - I do see one powerful step forward you made in February - YOU NEVER GAVE UP! You stuck with the challenge through all your ups and downs and should be very proud of that.
Stay strong and you're in my prayers for good news relating to your neurosurgeon visit.
Sending healthy vibes your way!
Sheila

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WOUBBIE 2/29/2012 8:09PM

    (((hugs)))

Stress sucks and depression makes the stress look like fun. :(

Well, I'm always one to look for the amusing side of life. Did you realize you left a pretty funny Freudian slip in your blog? You mentioned that you "feel like I'm hoovering on the edge all the time". I know it wasn't likely intentional but the image of hoovering up forbidden food because of stress and pain is one we're all pretty familiar with.

(((more hugs)))

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