I feel like I am going to grieve myself to death. I can't stand not being able to pick up the phone to call her or pick her up to go shopping or just hanging out with her and bugging my Dad. The pain is horrendous. My heart been shattered into a million pieces. I'm an only child and my Dad is unable to handle any of the things that has to be taken care of. He just tells me to handle it because it is too much to bear for him. I kept a brave face on during the visitation and funeral services but I just wanted to die. I have to move on because I have a husband and boys and not to mention I still have my Dad. I have to get back on track because I don't want to die from diabetes and heart problems. She would not want me to die the same way as she. The amount of stress eating I have done is crazy but I need to regroup and work harder. I will make it a goal to do a 5K in her memory this year either for the diabetes or heart association!