Saturday, February 25, 2012
I am gaining weight again. And this time I'm panicking, because , try as I might, I just don't seem to be able to stop shoveling food down my gullet! I have gained so many inches that all I can wear are my "fat" clothes, and they're plus-Plus sizes. I know I sound as if I am whining about something trivial, but when I catch my reflection in a mirror, I stop and think, "Who is that fat woman over there?" And then, when my inner self acknowledges my outer self in shock and disgust, what do I go and do? EAT!! It's getting harder and harder to cross my legs because they're so large, and the stomach! Oh boy, we won't even go there! And my family is so loving and kind and polite about my appearance, but I am sure that their real thoughts are more in the line of,"Why is she doing this to herself? Can't she see that she gets fatter every day?" And I am in a crisis situation. I know I can join the Twelve Step Program of Overeaters Anonymous and go to their meetings and whine and gripe to them, but Sparkpeople's where my heart is, and I so desperately want to succeed and be an inspiration to at least one person! I know there is a God, and I'm begging Him: HELP ME!!