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    BUTTERFLY-1976   61,543
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Spoke to soon

Saturday, February 25, 2012

A couple of weeks ago I posted a blog about how great my running had been going. How far I've come & how my mind stop trash talking me. Well....I spoke to soon. That Sunday I went out & ran an 18km. It wasn't my best run, but it wasn't my worst run either. My quads & hips were kind of sore/tight. I got through it but I was glad when it was over.

Last Sunday I went out to do my last LSD..20km. I made it maybe 2.5km & was hating every minute of it. But I pushed on to 3.5 km & then decided to walk the 3.5km home. I just couldn't do it. I don't know what my problem was. I was so upset with myself that I went to bed when I got home & beat myself up about my failure. After an hour of this I talked to a couple of friends & F#1 one told me I'm to hard on myself & F#2 told me to try again tomorrow.

On Monday I was telling F#2 what was going on in my head. She told me I need to find my love of running again & I'm putting to much pressure on myself over the training & other things in my life. I need to go run & enjoy it, whether it be 5km or 30km. Just go and enjoy it. She was right. So I suited up & set out. After my warm up I went to take my first running step & fear took over. Why am I so scared of running all of a sudden? But I took the step...now I'm not gonna lie & say it was great from the beginning. It took a few kms for me to get into it, then it got challenging. I keep running & finished 20km. I wrote alot of blogs in my head to help me through it. (It's sounds weird, but when I need somewhere to go in my head while running, I write Sparkblogs. I've never actually wrote any of the blogs on the site but I've wrote tons of them in my head.)

Wednesday & Thursday rolls around & I'm not feeling good...I'm exhausted. My body is tired. So I took both days off of all activities & went to bed early both nights. I woke up Friday feeling better. I even went out for a 5km run & I got my running groove back. WooHoo!!

I guess you have to have bad run days in order to fully appreciate the great, even good, run days.

I'm feeling much better today..It's been a bit of a struggle for me this week. But I feel like I'll be able to run my 1/2 next weekend & I decided I'm only setting one goal on Sunday...and that's to finish.



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BACKTOTEN12 2/26/2012 10:14AM

    Very happy to hear you got your running mojo back! I get afraid sometimes, too. The important part is not to give up. Every day is different and there are definitely bad ones. The good ones are the ones we try to remember. you will have a great run next week, I know it. I think it's a great accomplishment to be able to finish and that we don't always remember that.Have a great week. Get your rest. You will do great!!

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CRYSBROWN1 2/25/2012 8:56PM

    Ms. Butterfly -

I am glad to hear that your love of running has returned! I have sooooo been there as many of us have about having crappy runs, getting overly concerned with training & putting in miles that sometimes it helps to reflect on why you enjoy running in the first place. This is a great blog because I think that we all need this reminder from time to time.

Great job on not giving up, you are an inspiration!

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BOILHAM 2/25/2012 8:30PM

    Totally understand about those bad days. I hate that feeling too! With over 30 years of weight training behind me, I know that I will have a better, more productive day soon enough. So I do my best to let those bad days get behind me. Good job on your doing the same thing! emoticon

Thanks so much for your nice comments on my blog today about my 10K run. emoticon

-Vic-

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ELLSKI85 2/25/2012 5:32PM

    Good for you! I was going to say you just need to take a break and let your body rebound, but you got that. F#2 was right, it's all still there, you just got to find it again.

When I was at the height of my running love affair last Spring I blew out my knee and had to stop. It was really disappointing for me, and honestly, I haven't gotten that love back yet, but I get out there every now and again in search of it.

You're going to kick butt on that 1/2, and you'll def finish it.
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