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    -KATHERINE-   13,469
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Family For Sale, Actually today they are for free!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

This is my blog and how it is for me with them...Right before Christmas my brothers wife of three years says how my family is so quiet and reserved and hers is so lively and talkative. At their (my brother and wife) sons 2 yr old birthday party yesturday, my sister n laws two brothers and their wives, all sat at opposite corners, not interacting, not even with eachother, me and my mom, my dad, my daughter are all talking with sis n laws dad and mom. Who's family is quiet and reserved? Sitting there stone faced not even conversing together, I wondered if they all had a fight actually. They all left early too. Don't talk my family down and yours up when actually your family is the dud!!! Don't like fabricated stories!!!! Then I get home and my niece who live three hours away, has on facebook a Happy Birthday to her cousin and says thanks to my sis n law for lunch last Saturday while her and her boyfriend had been here for the wknd. I said on there "Oh you were here last wknd? I would have loved to see you and meet your boyfriend:)" and left it at that. Long story short, her and her mom(my sister) have honed in on my brother and his wife and here is the kicker, I am only a block away. Don't know why exactly she didn't let me know she was in town and they left me out. Nice, huh? Then my mom was talking behind my other sisters back. My mom plays games this way, pegging everyone against eachother, three out of five of us fall for this manipulitive behavior. Guess what? I'm not the one who does, sister with the niece who left me out and sister n law and my brother, absolutely play this up...and once again I am left out. What's that God says? How many times do you forgive, seventy x's seven? So I will work this out yet again, but honestly do I have to be a part of this family? This is emotional abuse as far as I am concerned, I am uninterested, and want out!!! Obviously there is whole lot more behind the years of things that have been going on. And last night some more things surfaced of fabricated belittling, and leaving me out (abandonment) these happen all the time in different realms. I have discovered this past year alot of my families verbal, emotional, and mental abusiveness that has been going on, unbeknownst to me, because when I don't behave that way, but I found out that I have been the victimized one in it, because of law of attraction to this, the family picks out one person and they are off like a race horse with it...Now that I know what it is I am trying to stop myself from falling into the codependant behavior, I do have to practice at it and also it still hurts. But sometimes I get tired of holding my chin up and trying...and today is one of them, it is the most lonely place I (or a person) can be in. I hate being conditionly loved, and I hate being played like a chess piece. It's wrong and I just don't want family. I am so totally abandoned its emotionally stressing to me today. And other days, I am like have fun with yourselves! But today is not good....
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LILY8486 2/26/2012 8:17AM

    My dear,dear spark friend!
I so agree with what Rachel is saying.. if you would like to hear my story and the way God worked everything out for His Glory, please let me know and i will privately share it with you. It IS so hard... so hard!!
He does allow things for a reason and works ALL things out for good to those who walk in His ways.. I am praying and holding your arms up.. I can so relate so relate
Praying always!!

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_RACHEL 2/25/2012 4:46PM

    Katherine, I've been involved in a weekly bible study held in my home on "Your Identity"God's self portrait. emoticon

This weeks study was "Not loving the World". 1 John 2:15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him"

......loving the world ....means accepting the world's system of determining our value.

The world's value systems are things such as:
Accomplishments,
Performa
nce; in another words: Self worth = Performance+ Others'Opinion,
Position or Title,
Education, Intelligence,
Gifts or Talents,
and People, especially family.
We as human beings, we spend our energy and time trying to be what someone else wants us to be because we feel that who we are is not enough. We want to be loved an not manipulated. Don't blame you for being fed up!But...

Katherine....you may not feel like it but I'm telling you, you're in a perfect place for God to reveal HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOU! It's true. God uses circumstances and situations to reveal Himself to us.(He uses circumstances not necessarily causes them) He is going to show you His love for you, His acceptance and the value He see in you. He loves you right now, you don't have to work for love any more and feel left out.....I pray for the revelation of God to show you how wide and long and high and deep is His love for you!

".....be satisfied with your present (circumstances and with what you have) For He (God) Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. (I will) not, (I will) not, (I will) not, in any degree leave you helpless on or forsake nor let (you) down (relax My hold on you)! Assuredly NOT!" Heb 13:5


But there is one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
GOD's LOYAL LOVE couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (i say it over and over)
He's all I've got left.
GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from GOD.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions.
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
Why? Because the Master won't ever
WALK OUT AND FAIL TO RETURN.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of LOYAL LOVE are immense.
Lamentations 3:21-32 THE MESSAGE

I'm praying for you my sister. His loving Presence and Love is sufficient.

Blessings, Rachel emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/25/2012 4:48:23 PM

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4THEJOURNEY 2/25/2012 4:04PM

    My heart goes out to you. I wish you didn't have to go through this. Your family situation sounds a lot like my husband's family. Lots of taking sides, fabricated stories to get a reaction and start squabbles, etc. In my case, being that these were my husband's relatives, I tried to keep the peace for many years. After 19 yrs, I decided against it and cut ties for my own sanity. He is free to go see them if he wants. I'd never stand in his way. I just can't be around them. lol My heart goes out to you, and I pray for strength in holding your head high and moving past the hurt.

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