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Venting - MOM!


Saturday, February 25, 2012

What a day I had, thank goodness the evening went awesome at work.

Well as you all know mom was being released from the Hospital early this morning. Check out time was at 9 am and since John and I couldn't get there to pick her up, my step dad and aunt Jean came all the way from Clearbrook - one hour drive away to get her.

Mom was waiting, bags packed, no shoes on, just slippers on because feet are badly swollen. So Day and Aunt Jean put her in the car. It is snowing heavily outside. When they got to her place mom didn't have her apartment keys. They couldn't get into the building or her apartment. UGH!

Both Dad and Aunt Jean didn't have our home phone #. They had to drive some where that had a phone book, I am not in the phone book but John is. They couldn't find either #s.

Finally a gentleman overheard the frustration of my Aunts voice and said let's Google her name. Well two names came up and one of them was mine. emoticon

So at 11:30 am I get a phone call to rush over there with our set of keys. I am thinking not again. third time her keys have been lost or misplaced. Finally get there at 12:15am because of the heavy snow falling. Remember it takes us about 30 minutes to get to mom's and with the snow and bad drivers (there were plenty of them) it took us longer.

Finally get mom up the stairs and into the building them more stairs to her apartment on the second floor. By then her feet were soaking wet. I changed her socks and put on warmer ones. WE all got her settled on the couch.

In the mean time Aunt Jean is cleaning out the fridge and putting fresh fruits and veggies in as well as milk.

Dad is on the phone to Meals- on-Wheels to order food for mom for the next two weeks. They will come this Monday, She had to fend for herself until then.

We still can't find anyone to look after mom for these next 2 to 3 weeks since she can't stay by herself.

All I can do is phone her daily to check in on her. I am working the next 6 straight days in the row. I need the work/money.

John was also busy taking out a lot of papers/garbage to make room for her to walk with the new metal stroller she has to use.

Just before we all left Aunt Jean and I put her in her night gown and housecoat so that it will be a lot easier for her just to get into bed.

I came home, ate a small lunch and headed to work. All night I have been so worried about her but I didn't receive any calls from her, nor did John. So I think she is OK.

We did finally get a hold of the management co. to get new keys for mom.They are bringing them to her some time I hope.

So far we haven't found any more live or dead mice in her place. So I pray that this issue has been resolved.

While at work things went very well. Tonight I worked with the Assistant Manager and two part timers. Every thing went smoothly for a change and we got out early tonight.

Now I am home trying to relax, have a snack, spark and read all my messages, Take a shower and go to bed to sleep. I hope.

Why do the hospitals send people home way to early when they aren't ready or strong enough. They should have sent mom to the rehabilitation center like they did last year when she fractured her hip and shattered her femur bone. At least she would have had care there 24/7 and not be home alone where anything could happen.

I am trying not to be so angry about this.

Also too, My aunt thinks that I should step up to the plate and have her move in with me.

She can't, there is no way on earth.

For one thing, I live on the third floor with no elevator,
Second, I am in a two bedroom apartment.
third, there is too much construction and noise going on around us that it will drive mom nuts.
Four, John and I can't handle mom.

The answer to all of this is to find her a nursing home or home her move in with Dad and Aunty. Aunty and dad won't have her. They live in a two bedroom house that is cluttered with too much stuff. Two houses packed into one.

I talked to mom and she doesn't want to live with anyone of us or move.

Her call, nothing I can say or do.

Anyways, vent is over.

I just had to write this down and get it off my chest so that I can sleep tonight.

I know all of you understand what I am going through. Most of you have been with me since the beginning. You have been so helpful and kind with your prayers and suggestion.

Just knowing how much you care make me feel better and I know I, we will all get through this in time.

Have a great night. HUGs

SandraLand is closed.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
QUILTINGB52 2/27/2012 11:13PM

    Through medicare you can have a Social worker go to your mothers place to assess her needs. They will then determine what level of home health care is necessary, to fit her needs. If you are unfamiliar with this, call your doctor & request a social worker/nurse to come and assess her home.

I know that when my parents needed assistance, the assessment team had a sturdy WIDE step installed to help aid them to get into their family room & able to answer the back door. They helped setup the bathroom and kitchen to make it more accessible as well.

Knowing that their were home health care nurses coming in for various things, was peace of mind. Mom had one gal that just took care of bathing, another helped her rise every morning & got her dressed and fed. There IS help available...

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NOTGIVINGUP49 2/27/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon emoticon
I know it isn't an easy situation to say the least. Remember to take care of you during this stressful time.

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KNITTABLES 2/27/2012 5:45PM

    Thanks, mom is still without keys. Can't understand Management co. and why they aren't giving mom a new set of keys.

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JUNEAU2010 2/26/2012 4:14PM

    What an icky situation! Prayers all around! Good thing you have work to keep you busy! I hope John does not hurt his back clearing out your mom's place.

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FRAN0426 2/26/2012 12:29AM

    It is never easy to have someone return home from the hospital still to weak to take care of them self. It happens here in the states to, heard of such an incident just last week that an eldrly lady was sent home two days after having shoulder surgery---my goodness that seemed strange. Wishing the best for all of you.

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LIBBYFITZ 2/26/2012 12:18AM

    emoticon My thoughts are with you!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 2/25/2012 9:06PM

    Praying for you and your mom. It's unbelievable that they sent her home so soon after surgery with no one to stay with her or help her. Hopefully a home health nurse or physical therapist can stop in, work with her and check on her. Glad that she qualifies for the meals on wheels. Do they stop in daily or just once or twice a week?
You remain in my thoughts and prayers. Glad things are going well at work and you are getting your hours.
Hope you can enjoy the rest of your weekend.
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BOVEY63 2/25/2012 1:39PM

    Lots of prayers and hugs for you Sweetie!
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CINDHOLM 2/25/2012 12:28PM

    emoticon

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BYEFATNANNY 2/25/2012 11:28AM

    Maybe it's different in Canada, but it seems her doctor would refer her to a convalescent home? Can you talk to the doctor about that? I would be worried about her home alone too. Hope it all works out.

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DEE107 2/25/2012 11:18AM

    hugs my friend hugs

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NATPLUMMER 2/25/2012 10:09AM

    emoticon

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LASARRE 2/25/2012 9:14AM

    As you know, I can well relate to this. We were lucky and found someone to stay with mom. It could come to a point with both of them that it is no longer their call. You have to just show the inability of her to take care of herself. Hope things go smoother from here on. emoticon

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MALEXANDER4 2/25/2012 7:34AM

    I have to agree I was thinking of assisted living. they are mostly on their own but they have nurses and help right there also. I know what you mean about the hospitals, my grandmom fell this week and broke her hip, she had surgery and three days later she is in the nursing home for 21 days and therapy. So here is a 90 something year old woman out in three days to fend. What is up with this new medical system? Oh well my prayers are with you girl. Have a great day today and remember to breath.

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IILAAD65 2/25/2012 7:19AM

    Things will be better when she is a little more mobile. Assisted Living - would be a good option. Still gives her some freedom and yet nurses are nearby.

Glad work is going well!!!

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LOPEYP 2/25/2012 6:49AM

    Call the hospital care manager and see if you can get a visiting nurse and physical therapy in the home for a couple of weeks. It won't be every day but at least someone will be checking on her. emoticon

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BEEJAY49 2/25/2012 4:28AM

    I'm so sorry all this is going on. I know how you feel about not having her live with you. I would think she would have been sent to rehab for a while. It doesn't make a bit of sense to me either. I love my dad with all my heart, but I couldn't have him live with us even though we have the room. It's so hard to say no, but a person has to have their own space and privacy also.
I know with time you will get through this and I'm so glad you blog about it to get it off your chest. It helps when you put it down. Know we are here for you and you can vent any time.
You may want to contact visiting nurses or some organization like that, they may be able to help. Love you! HUGS!

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_LINDA 2/25/2012 2:11AM

    So sorry about the struggles with your Mom :(( She really does sound like she needs an assisted care faciltiy. That is just ludicrous of them to suggest she stay with you and John in a small aprtment when they have a house. Sounds like hoarding runs in the family if they have no room for her. I am guessing it takes a long wait time for her to get in a home like it does here? Good for your Aunt Jean stocking her fridge with healthy stuff.
Ease your mind Sandra, you can't be there to hold her hand, you have to work for a living. She should call if she has any problems.
Hope you have a good weekend
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KAYECAN 2/25/2012 1:20AM

    Sorry for all your burdens. We're only human and can only do so much, so don't be too hard on yourself. Everything will work out....you just have to stay positive.
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