Friday, February 24, 2012
I never thought I'd stoop so low as to go on a 'diet', and certainly not something like medifast. But I have. This is week 2 (day 10); an obsessive way to control my over all intake.
The first few days I felt ill on it and was truly miserable. Then my body stopped freaking out and the powder packet foods I detested have become manageable at best.
Why do something I know better NOT to do? Desperation, I guess. And the real challenge, as if this diet itself isn't enough of a challenge(!), will be to keep losing when I get off the plan. Cause I don't want to stay on it.
Did the first week deliver as promised? It's hard to tell. I dropped to 168 lbs for 3 days in a row and then had a 170 day prior to officially starting this thing. So now I'm 167. Is that really more than one pound lower?
Is this really going to jump start me through the 160s so I can take it from the 150s down? Time will tell, but regardless of my method, in order to be trim I must eat very little. Always has been that way. And my love of a variety of foods interferes greatly with that reality.
But then, isn't that the story of everyone around here? We all have control issues don't you think?
One day at a time, I'm doing the best I can. That's a fact no matter what it is I do. The self approval ratings just vary. And doesn't that dictate the quality of life experienced? If I get off my own back on that 'Good Enough?' rating, I'll feel a whole lot more present.