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    COLETTEMR   11,731
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Im Invisible


Friday, February 24, 2012

Came across an interesting blog about dating and being overweight. Apparently, the reason I have not had any successful relationship is due to my weight and those who "see" me.

After reading the WHOLE article I realized that there are some truths in what is said.
blackgirlsguideto
weightloss.com/its-all-men
tal/big-love-dating-while-
losing-weight/


Since my divorce 4yrs ago I have not had any successful relationship lasting longer than 3mths. NO LIE. Apparently, I am invisible to the men who I really want. They cant see me because I'm fat. Interesting enough, I've dated a couple guys who were not attracted to big girls but dated me because I had all the qualities they liked. HOWEVER, they were too embarrassed to be seen with me in public so the dating ended.

So basically, I wont be "seen" until I am no longer "big/chubby". Once I lose 150lbs+ the dating pool will open up for me and I will have better luck in finding love.

VERY INTERESTING.

Just to clarify ladies, losing weight will open a larger pool of men who will notice me. I am not saying that I am losing weight to be in a relationship or to get a man. Im very aware that I should find someone who loves me for me.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMO2WB 7/15/2012 5:52PM

    I completely get "it"....Many years ago I lost over 100lbs. and got down to a very nice size 16, since I was working out reg. my tummy was flat and I was a toned thick girl. Yes, it did open the man pool. I think I got so caught up being fat and that was all it is...but in truth skinny girls have issues too that men don't want to deal with...so it's not just the fat. but because men are visual creatures it does play a role. Yes, there are men out there that love a big girl, but I don't want to get caught up in that. What happens when we get healthy ?I just want to be healthy body and mind. I'll never be a size 2 and I am good with that, and I will find a good man who will love me for who I am, even if that means he gets healthy with me. but this, like you said, is for me . I say don't look, just do you and the right man will cross your path!

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OUT-OF-ASHES 2/24/2012 9:43AM

    I've never been in a relationship before so feel free to ignore what I have to say. I try not to focus on how people "see" me, but on how I "see" myself. If I am unhappy with myself, I can't expect others to see themselves being happy with me. Also something can be said about high expectations, a good friend of mine who is in her mid 30s and overweight has never had luck in this department. I imagine it's because she is only attracted to fit guys in their early 20s who are only in to fit girls in their 20s.
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MRSLYRIK 2/24/2012 9:17AM

    I have to agree with Heather. There are men who are attracted to us curvy girls and u will find the right man who loves all of you not just the outside but he's going to be looking beyond that and see the beautiful woman you are inside and out. You don't want a superficial man anyway...let the skinny girls have them that's a lot of pressure to have b/c those are usually the men who start to talk about you to your face if you gain 5lbs. Who wants that.

Live your life and keep that beautiful smile and it will she through. Men love confident women at any size. Show them you are confident in your skin and they won't go away. The last thing they want is a curvy girl who constantly beats hherself up and is an emotional wreck so let that positive energy shine girl!

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HEATHER-IN-SD 2/24/2012 9:04AM

    You know...I have to disagree with this. I've been single for most of my adult life and the times when I wasn't? Were when I was making positive changes in my life. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year next month and he met me at my highest weight ever in my life. What caught his eye was my smile - I was preparing to move away from where I had grown up, my son was moving out on his own, and I was just chock-full of confidence and it showed. THAT is what attracted him to me.

And before he and I met, I went out on several dates. I knew not one of them would be anything more than a couple of dates, but for me it was about breaking out of my shell and trying something new. And since I knew I didn't have anything to lose, it showed in my attitude.

I looked at your pictures and girl, you are GORGEOUS. Go out, have fun and don't fret over what those articles said. The more you live for YOU the more people will see you for who you really are...and the person you are inside is far more important than the one people think they see when they look at you with their blinders on.

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