Thursday, February 23, 2012
I lost 4 pounds this week! Wow! I'm now down 30 pounds. I can't believe that I'm really doing this. It's so hard but it's so wonderful. I only wish that I didn't have such a negative attitude. About 5 minutes after the fantastic news I started wondering: Does this mean I'll have a bad weigh in next week? Why can't I just stay happy and positive? Don't get me wrong. I am so very proud of myself and grateful to have lost. But I just wait for bad news. I'm scared every minute that this is when I mess it up. 30 pounds is the most I've ever lost on a diet. I guess I feel like this is some sort of defining moment. Will I be able to break the 30 pound mark for the first time? Or will I fail? I don't think I'll fail. Deep down I know that this is what I want to be doing. I still have so much more to lose. I have no choice but to keep going. I've never felt so good about myself. I can't let this feeling fade. I WON'T let anything keep me down. Not even myself. I'm doing this. I AM!!