Thursday, February 23, 2012
I'm a firm believer that things do work out in the end. When you're struggling to understand why things aren't going your way or you've fallen off the bandwagon for the umpteenth time this month/year/etc., it's time to dust off your knees and keep going. Things will work out and while it may not be exactly the way you planned or wanted it to go, you're going to make it work and it's going to be great. This is my mantra and while I sometimes lose focus on it's meaning, I always come back around to this approach in the end.
For me right now, it's that stress levels are starting to climb. I'm months away from finishing my education (a 20+ year commitment that will leave me with a PhD). For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to work for a certain organization. And I literally have spent my entire student career working my butt off to achieve the grades and resume needed to obtain a position with this organization. I even earned an extremely rare internship with them back in undergrad. A few years back, they called me and asked me to quit grad school and come back to work for them. I declined stating that I really wanted to finish my PhD and if they could just hold on another year or two, I'd come back gladly. That was before the recession though. Now this organization isn't hiring and hasn't for a long time. I really don't want to work anywhere else. Filling out applications for jobs that I know deep down I won't like is heartbreaking. But I don't really know what else to do. I need a job after graduation. I know that once hiring starts up again with that organization, I can apply -- but who knows how soon that will be. And often, you must sign a multi-year contract to start with a company. So I may be locked into a job I hate for years. A 20+ year dream and plan are fraying at the edges and quite frankly fraying my nerves.
So yes, I'm frustrated -- shed a few tears as well, but who's counting. I'm trying to focus on the good. It's time to "suck it up buttercup" and dust off my knees. Things are going to work out. I'm going to find a job and figure something else. It may not be what I thought I always wanted, but I'm going to make it work.