Clawing my way back up onto the wagon...
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Oh boy, I have gotten sooooo far off track.
Since July, when I reached my short-term goal of 189 pounds, I have gotten distracted by new activities (which include hiking, ironically enough) and a short-lived job as a house painter that caused me all kinds of tendon damage and chronic pain (in addition to my usual level of fibromyalgia and other chronic health conditions). I have gained back up to 217 pounds, and I feel like CRAP! I was doing so well, and little by little, I stopped tracking and stopped exercising and started eating whatever I wanted. (Can you say carb-a-thon?)
So, long story short, here I am again. I know for a fact that SparkPeople helped me to stay focused and on track and that participating here is a large part of my former success. I saw a new doctor yesterday and began the T.R.I.M. program again. (See my cookbook for some great recipes!)
Today has been a good day. I added a recipe for my homemade Cajun Turkey Soup, and I was pleased to find out exactly how healthy it is, thanks to the recipe calculator! I have eaten enough to be satisfied and still met all my goals and had a good day. I was able to do some heavy house cleaning for about half an hour, so that is a great start at getting back to regular exercise, not to mention a nice start at my spring cleaning, lol.
I have to remember that it took me a few months to really get humming, and the first few weeks were really hard before, so they won't be easy this time either. I have a lot of pain, but I know from last year that if I can be persistent and work through it a bit each day, it does get better. I have been feeling so painful, sleepy, cranky and generally crappy lately, that it is actually a relief to be back on SP, setting and tracking goals that I know I can reach.
One of my favorite inspiring phrases is "Choosing, not Excusing," which I heard on a Dr. Wayne Dyer TV show. All along, I have made a conscious choice to skip exercising or overeat, (or make other less than healthy choices) and have not made any excuses. I have consciously accepted the consequenses of declining health and mood, and honestly, I just can't stand it any more. So, finally sick enough of my poor choices, I have decided to make better choices so I can improve my health and mood. I have done it before, and I know I can do it again.
I don't see this "relapse" as a complete failure, but instead, I choose to take it as a hard lesson learned. It really DOES make a difference when I eat well and exercise, and I miss the person that I had become last summer. Still, with a little discipline and some persistence she'll be back soon.