I am worth it.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
So, boy has 2012 been a ROUGH year for me, weight wise. Itís been so hard. Iíve gained some weight back and I feel like I am in such a struggle to get back on track. Some days, all I wanna do is give up. That damn voice in my head keeps telling me that I will never reach my goal and Iím not worth it. I keep trying to shut her up, but she keeps going and going andÖ I was starting to believe itÖ but... I KNOW I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS. I broke down this morning and just cried Ė like one of those embarrassing ugly cries. (lol). Iíve been feeling so hopeless. I know I can do it soÖ. Why am I NOT DOING IT? I know Iím only giving like maybe 40% of my effort, which I know is better than nothing butÖ itís not going to help me reach my goal. I do want this, so why am I not acting like I do by doing what needs to be done. Laziness, maybe? I donít knowÖ stress in my life? I know those are all excuses butÖ they are really hard to shut up from my mind. Itís such a mental freaking battleÖ but Iím here to say, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. If I want this, I need to forgive myself for my mistakes and STOP DWELLING. Yes, I have made several mistakes in regards to my weight loss efforts this year but, thereís no better time to forgive myself and keep moving forward than TODAY. And thatís exactly what I am going to do. SO here, I am saying it now, I forgive myself of all the crappy food I have eaten over the last few months and all the times I didnít go to the gym and perhaps I wonít be meeting my goal by summer, but I AM WORKING ON MY GOAL and THAT is the most important part. Itís not a race itís a lifelong journey and I have to keep telling myself that b/c once I get to my goal I will then have to work to maintain b/c I do not want to yo-yo. So hereís to TODAY and I promise myself that every time I try to look to far ahead and feel like itís overwhelming, I will remind myself that it is not a race and I am working on this ONE DAY AT A TIME and more importantly Ė I AM WORTH IT.
I need a support system!!! But it seems like the groups I joing don't have too many active members...