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Whew! Almost Lost Myself! Got Scared! But.......

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I'm BACK!!!
Ok, let me explain. Last week I had a bad week of eating and barely exercised so it would be no surprise when I got on the scale and there was a gain. But, a 4.5 lb gain!!! WTH!! I knew I gained but I think there could have been a couple of other contributing factors.
I just couldn't get my head in it. Now, of course, this was depressing me. People around me were asking me if something was wrong? Physcially I was there and going about my day to day but mentally I wasn't. I was being told that I seemed preoccupied with other things and too quiet. People were always used to me being the talker or being somewhat funny even at my heaviest that's who I was. Always toting a smile no matter how much being MORBIDLY OBESE (OMG! Did I just say that?) was really bothering me. Of course I was preoccupied. I was M-A-D at myself!! I had lost 105 lbs since July 3 2011 with alot of hard work, determination, will power & want power (you have to want this in order for it to work not just will it to work) & the support of EVERYONE around me (online and in person)!! So many sweet people telling me I'm their inspiration and NOW in 1 week I gain 4.5 lbs!! How can this be? How can I inspire anyone? I started thinking right away, maybe I can't do this, maybe I'm not meant to be skinny, maybe I'm not who everyone says I am and that I don't deserve the praise, how can I let these people down, & how can I let myself down??
Like I said, I knew it was a rough week but I didn't do enough damage to put on almost 5 lbs and being that I did gain 4.5 lbs in just 1 week scared me. If it could come back that quick what am I gonna do if I can't get back in control?? ALL the hard work will have been for nothing. There's NO WAY I want to go back or will go back to where I was.....I AM NOT gonna let over 100 lbs come back on-not when I still have so far to go. I still want to lose about another 108-109 lbs....
The most current week that I just fininshed I still had a few rough days. I was getting scared again-still not gaining control. But, I also had good days and made sure I started to exercise again. I know what to eat what not to eat that I have to exercise and burn more calories than I consume. It wasn't easy and IDK why I had such a bad week prior and struggling with the week that just finished.
Anyway I got on the scale this morning and I lost 4 lbs!! I lost everything but 1/2 lb of what gained the other week. So, YES I'm extrememly happy and this in of itself is motivation to get back on that road. I got sidetracked a bit and I dealt with it and I've moved on.The scale is moving in the right direction again and I have that fire in me like I did whan I 1st started last July.
It's not easy-no one ever said it would be but IT'S WORTH IT!!! Giving up is easy! Quiting is easy! The end result is attainable! I see the finish line again!! I can do this! We can do this!!
And as Cher said in my favorite song for inspiration~"You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me"!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks Chris XOXO
    2219 days ago
    Just remember. In order to gain a pound of fat you have to eat 3500 calories more than you burn. So chances are it was just water weight you were retaining from unhealthy choices. Hang in there, Congrats on the 4 pounds lost this week and get back on track. Just a bump in the road.
    2219 days ago
    Thank you so much Krystie & AdventureSeeker XOXO
    2219 days ago
    well, I gained 6 lbs over 3 days at Christmas. Took me 1 week to lose it. Stupid sodium and unhealthy food choices. It's so easy for it to slip back on, and as long as we nip it in the bud when we first notice the gain then all is well. Congrats on noticing and putting the brakes on!
    2219 days ago
    Wow, what a De Ja Vu moment!! I had the same thing going on this past week too!! So proud of you for you fighting back and getting on track! I'm here for you honey!!!
    2219 days ago
    Thank you Rosie XOXO
    2219 days ago
    Just goes to show you one bad week won't kill you and sticking with it will continue to pay off. Glad you got back to the program and re-motivated!
    2219 days ago
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