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frustration(or maybe relieve?)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

well i didn´t blog about this when it happened as i was waiting to know more about it at the dr´s today but when i had my last cct a couple of weeks agao it showed i had a small benign tumor on the brain.even though it is BENIGN the word tumor itself is so scary that all sorts of thoughts go round in your head.(well it did mine anyway)one of those thoughts was maybe this is the reason i have the facial paryalise as they stiill don´t know why i have it(though know what it is not but not what is causeing it,lol)but no apparently it has nothing to do with the paryalise.also i wanted to know why nothing was said about it before like at my last mri in october after the two op for the anurysma.my dr couldn´t answer that and was going to get in contact with the hospital who did the op incase they oversaw it then if it was there then and also my neurologist to see what is to be done if anything.i.e. operate,treat with medicine or leave it as it is.she was suppose to let me know today so after being at the hospital for blood test(irn)and my iron infusion(which concidering i just had it i still feel very,very tired)i go the two train rides to dr from hospital.only to discover she has been off ill all week.her springer couldn´t find any notes anywhere in my files or on computer that she might of left re contacting the hospital etc so guess i have to wait till next week for the answers.on top of that also forgot to pick up my sick note for the employment agancy so have to go back today or tomorrow for it.on one side i am frustrated as it means more waiting and worrying to know what they are doing as i am really dreading that she might say they need to operate.though i am not too bothered about the operation itself(though a brain op sounds scary)it is more the time it will take that i have to stay in hospital because of the weaning off of the bloodthinners(took 6 days before they could operate on the anurysam)and the weaning back on after the op which i am still having problems with 4 months after the last op and also i still have an iron problem because of the last op and if i have to have another i wonder how long i will be having iron infusion which are a pain,not so much the infusion but the time it takes to have them.so even though i am frustrated on one hand on the other hand i am relieved as i am dreading her saying i need an op.does that make sense?i hope it does.i do ramble sometimes.so those who know me and have been wondering why i have not been my usual chatty self on the boards and in answering blogs(making my answers short or just with emotions)you now know why my mind has been on the tumor and what the dr would be saying today.and i am still none the wiser.anyway will probably spark another half hour then have to go to physio and ice theraphy for my face(always feels like i have done at least 10 rounds with muhammaed ali afterwards)then when i get back the baking for the school and kinder gartens fashing party´s tomorrow and sorting out their dressing up costumns,lol.thanks once again for taking the time to read my blog even if i don´t get round to thanking you all personally each and every comment i get is well appreciated.you all rock.don´t forget that.take care and keep smiling emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MUSIC66
    That sounds so frustrsting ,my last hznd surgery teo weeks sgo took the surgeon five hour instead of three hour fingers so sore still.
    2196 days ago
  • UP2ME_CC
    Thinking only positive thoughts for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    And a little fairy dust never hurts. emoticon
    2196 days ago
    emoticon my prayers are with you emoticon
    2197 days ago
  • JUDITH1654
    I am SO sorry you are having to go through this! If I could wave a magic wand, I would. Your strength and faith will be your greatest support. And know we're all here for you, too! emoticon
    2197 days ago
    emoticon Bad things shouldn't happen to nice people.
    I'm sorry your facing more health issues. Wishing you well.
    emoticon emoticon
    2197 days ago
  • ABB698
    Oh dear Karen, I am so sorry you have to go through all this! I am praying for you and thinking of you, as always! emoticon
    2197 days ago
    As salam alaikum dear friend,

    Your trials are large, but never reach your level of faith, optimism and strength. I second all the previous comments.

    May you continue to have the ability to face all these obstacles with poise and dignity. May you continue to be the bright light to both your family and friends her on SP.

    with peace and love,

    2197 days ago
    almost missed this so sorry for a late reply
    I think you are a great strong lady who will find a way to come through all of these trials. When people have a faith it does enable them to go through hard stuff because there should be something better to follow. It must be very scary for you, especially as you are responsible for your young family, I expect you haven't been able to explain it all to them. Let's hope the drs get themselves organised and have a plan by the time you see them again.
    I'm sending all the love the internet will transport, a bit of Welsh spirit too.
    2198 days ago
    What a totally frustrating day love !
    All that way to go and no doctor ...Not good my friend!!
    You are always in my thoughts and I am sending love your way ...
    My Skype has been playing up and if you have been trying to contact me I am sorry if I have missed you ..
    Try to stay positive my love !.
    I know it must be so very hard with what is going on to stay grounded ..
    But always try to look forward ...
    Love and Hugs Susie

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2198 days ago
    Take care !
    Keep smiling !
    2198 days ago
    emoticon I am lost for words my friend. I will be thinking and praying for you.
    2198 days ago
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