I feel like an oompa loompa!!!
Thursday, February 16, 2012
As some of you may know I'm
now so I have to put weight loss on a pause until this baby is out or even til I'm done breastfeeding. When I first found out, I was really upset especially with my husband because I told him I wasn't ready for another one and he kept insisting. We still don't know how it happened (because I was being safe, who knows what my husband did) but it's here. I was in super denial mode but I've finally accepted. I'm so scared though. I've lost 69 lbs before this and I'm afraid of gaining a lot of it back just to start over to square one. I've worked so hard to lose every lb and the thought of having to do it all over again freaks me out. So far working out is not a problem and I still do it 5-6 days a week but I'm really careful and I'm scared to keep running, which is sad because I'm afraid of losing that skill. Hopefully after my 9th week, I can ease into running again. According to the nurse practitioner, I should avoid running during the 8th and 9th week so after this week is over, I'm going to try doing some jogging, and intervals if my body can't handle it. I just don't want to keep doing low impact workouts because they can get a bit boring. I fell in love with running outdoors and it's sad for me to hear that I can't do that for a while.
As for nutrition, I was trying to stay within 1800 calories as the nutritionist suggested. At first, it was fine. I was eating my usual healthy food and staying in my range until my baby decides that's not what he/she wants. I'm always hungry especially if I eat mostly veges and fruits. If I try to choose something healthy besides what I'm craving for (usually not as healthy), I feel like crappy-doo and I get really grumpy. My husband and kids can attest to that. Lately, I've been giving in to the baby's wants but I still try to practice self-control and smaller portions. I've only gained 2 lbs so far but man do I feel like a pig or an oompa loompa. It's probably all mental, but seriously, I look in the mirror and I see a fat me again and I feel fat. Ugh! I don't even feel like shopping anymore or prettifying my face like I used to when I had all the high self-esteem in me. Hopefully, it'll get better and that I'll eventually feel better about myself again especially when I really start blowing up...I dread thinking about it. UGH!
32 more weeks to go...can't wait!