Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Ugh! It has been such a frustrating couple of weeks in so many ways. Where do I begin? I just need to unload... this is going to be long-winded. It all sort of started way before this point and it has been spiraling downward since. I'm just overwhelmed with too much going on at once... too much drama.
Going to the gym with Mom had been her suggestion. She wanted a workout buddy and knew that it was difficult for me to find the time to workout at home with Xander underfoot. Ross was concerned about the cost of gas going back and forth. Mom would have to do all the driving because Ross and I only have the one vehicle he takes to work, so it would mean making four trips every day (Mom to our house, all of us to gym, all of us to our house, Mom back home). Gas was bound to add up. Mom said she would cover half the gas and we would cover the rest... but that's not how it happened.
From the very beginning of our gym excursions she has paid for only two weeks' worth of gas. It was one excuse after another as to why she couldn't afford it. Ross and I were shelling out roughly $120 a month for me to go to the gym between the $20 in gym fees and then $100 or more in gas. It was causing issues with Ross and I because the costs just kept adding up. He knew how important it was for me to go and was doing everything he could to make it work, but it was starting to affect what we put aside for savings and such.
The most recent issue came up just two days after Mom got paid. She told me I'd need to cover gas until her next payday because she was broke and didn't have any gas to get anywhere. She gets paid once a month! I had had enough and told her I was just going to cancel my membership and be done with it. She only added to my anger over the issue by showing up for a visit four times over the next six days... all of them after she had been to the gym. Remember, she didn't have gas or money to get anywhere yet she's made four trips. She has not said a word to me about going back to the gym, but she would talk about this or that at the gym. It really felt like these little visits were meant to egg me on.
Last night Mom called to complain that my sister had never responded back to her "Happy Valentine's Day" text. She was getting angry because she had also called and texted again without getting a response. She told me, "If she doesn't call me back by 8, I am going to keep calling and letting it ring until she finally picks up."
This is sort of a problem of my mom's... she is WAY overprotective and if you don't respond to a text within a set time she will send out the dogs. I recall one specific time when I didn't realize my cell phone had been turned off. She tried to call and I didn't respond, so she texted and called and texted and called and texted. By the time I realized my phone was off only TWO HOURS later, I turned it back on to find over 30 missed calls from Mom, over 10 missed calls from friends and family she had sent into panic mode, about 50 voicemail, and loads of texts.
Sooooo... I tried as tactfully as possible to say that perhaps Angel is intentionally ignoring Mom's calls. (I know she does this, because we've discussed it.) When prodded on by Mom, I told her that her protectiveness can get very claustrophobic at times and it's very likely that Angel is acting out against this. I told her that there are times a person may feel like not answering texts or phone calls, but with her we don't have that luxury unless we're prepared for the Inquisition when she finally gets a hold of us. We are in our 30's and not children. Yeah... I admit it got a bit mean, but half hour into the conversation I started to get deeply frustrated by her inability to understand where we were coming from on this... and lingering anger over the gym/gas issue Sometimes she's just too much! The conversation ended with Mom telling me I needn't feel any obligation to speak to her again. Gee, that went well.
Aaaand, through it all, we are dealing with the worst bout of eczema Xander has ever had. We finally meet up with the doctor on Friday, so hopefully we can explore other possibilities. I am hoping to go for a second opinion on treatment. The first allergist we saw on the matter insists there is no food connection with eczema, yet I know numerous people who have had great success after discovering and eliminating their food triggers. Even the nurse at the ER said her son was virtually cured by eliminating dairy. I hate to further restrict his diet (he's vegetarian too), but I will do whatever it takes to get him healthy.
Xander wasn't sleeping well through the fever and eczema... still isn't really. I went the past two weeks with a TOTAL of sixteen hours of sleep. Ross wasn't able to help much, because he was exhausted too. He was doing twelve hour days seven days a week and his back injury is acting up worse than ever. I tried napping a few times only to wake up and discover Ross had fallen asleep sitting up and Xander was running amuck through the house. Knowing he could have been hurt while we slept scared me and I couldn't nap after that. We're not ready to send Xander off on an overnight and no one was willing to stay here and help out, so we had a rough go of things for a bit there.
My weight loss has turned into gain. At one point during the past week, I hit my all-time high of 260. I was drinking soda like water to keep my energy up. I, obviously, am no longer getting to the gym. I was nearly too exhausted to function, let alone work out. When you're up 22-23 hours a day you eat more... a LOT more. I have got to get back on track. I am officially resetting my SparkPeople stats and beginning anew on Monday. I am giving myself these next few days to rest up, get myself and my family healthy, get my refrigerator and pantry restocked for healthy eating, and get my home ready to act as my full-time gym.