Tuesday, February 14, 2012
I can feel my body tensing up. There is a small, tender bump on the inside of my lip. It's the start of a canker sore. It is telling me that I'm stressed - something I had been avoiding. I'm moving and leaving my family, my friends and the geography I grew up with, so that I can work. I took a job in a rash decision to end my longterm unemployment and to further my career. But I'm over 30 and I'm just ready to settle down. I want to live with my family.
I'm sure that I will enjoy my new surroundings, but the adjustment will be stressful. The good thing is that I'm a very flexible person. I can make friends with some effort, even though I'm introverted. Each time I have moved far away, I made new friends who expanded my horizons. Moving away from and then returning to my hometown has been good for my soul.
It's just that I thought I was going to settle down in this area, so this move is unexpected. I will miss homecooked meals at my parents' house. I'll miss Friday night dinners with my college friends. I'll miss seeing them buy condos, townhouses, applying for new jobs. Maybe I can try Skyping with them. But there will be a lot I'll miss.
Lately I've focused so much on the upsides of my situation that I have been ignoring the huge negatives. The massive negatives. So here I am. Looking at the upsides and the downsides, and trying to stay balanced, neutral, stronger and healthy. Go away, canker sore, I can handle this with the grace of God. (It's funny how I turn religious whenever I feel alone.)