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Determined... nuff said.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Keeping up with where I need to be has come pretty easy lately but something that I am noticing is that without the exercise the weight comes off so slow. My back is still tender so I am taking it easier than I really want to in the riding the trainer department but it is what it is because if I jump back into it too soon it could set me back that much further. This morning my back felt decent so I may attempt a short ride just to feel things out, I need to get my legs in order before the weather comes around because I do not want to waste a single day when it warms back up when I could be on the bike.

My calories have been pretty perfect and drinking enough has never been an issue for me, my weight is stable or dropping and I haven;t seen what I would call a rise in the number in a while so that's got me in a positive place where this whole program is concerned. My calories last year were 1700 per day and I found at that amount I do lose weight but I also find that I am hungry now and again, since upping my intake number to 2200 calories per day I have been losing weight and literally have found that I come up short a lot of days.

Evolving from a 534 pound man that had no idea of whether his plan to lose weight would work to where I am currently has been a huge learning experience for me, learning that I need to do for me in order to get what I want was a hurdle but now that I am here, whats next? I have dropped a lot of weight in the last few years, kept most of it off but keep hitting a barrier, that barrier is that 300 pound mark and I am now again a bit away from there but I fear that when I get there again I will hit the wall again. How do I get past that? you know, that mental barrier, the weight is merely a number and my body knows not what 299 pounds Vs 305 is, it's what is suspended in the gray matter that is holding me back there.

Sixty pounds is the hill that I need to climb to get back down to the 300 pound barrier, honestly this 60 pounds feels harder to achieve than the more than 170 pounds that I have already lost! why? this is a road already blazed, I have been down and back this road in the not so distant past so why does it feel like its an impossible feat? My mental is where this game is right now, I know this and I know how to eat, exercise and sleep to get there and I will! but it seems like more of a struggle like I said than the already lost weight which is 3 times what I need to drop to get back to where I was.

My weight, my life, my struggle and I will beat it down out of my way, not because I want to, even though I do want to but because I need to, for more reasons than I can count.....

It shall be so..

As Ever
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know you can do it - I have complete and total faith in you. I have watched your progress over the last few years and have seen the struggles and the highs and the lows. You always seem to come out on top. I KNOW it's not easy, but with your determination and the support that you have, I know you WILL hit that number and proceed to hit your goal!


    1784 days ago
    I've been struggling to re-lose these last 20 pounds to my lowest Spark weight, then I have more to do after that.

    I think it's definitely psychological. Remember how awesome you are in positive ways - be kind to yourself, and reinforce the good. I think that will take me (and you) through this.

    I hope your back heals and is stronger than ever (very quickly).
    All the best,
    1787 days ago
    I have my eye on you...I just know you will do this.
    1788 days ago
    I find it harder to re-lose weight, too. Or at least it *seems* to come off with more effort. It's probably psychological.

    When I am struggling it's helpful to focus on the mechanics of the process, kind of like the same theory as using spark streaks. Eventually I come back around to being "all in" again.

    I'm struggling too. Just binged last night, and so badly I'm home from work with stomach cramps.
    1801 days ago
    Re-losing weight is a tough road...don't I just KNOW IT! Oof!

    But you're walking the are already there and SO much more to come!

    Great to hear from you!

    1801 days ago
    1804 days ago
    Okay-your 300# mark is alot of people's 'wall' at the 11 mile marker in a half marathon or whatever 'mile' marker in whaterve race.
    PICTURE/VISUALIZE yourself busting thru 300....picture 298 on the scale. CONVINCE your mind/heart/soul that you will see that number. (and beyond)or, picture whatever your goal weight is. Anything less than 300 to get past that roadblock.
    I'm telling you-this visualization thing works! I haven't tried it for weight loss, but in the last pregnancy I visualized a calm,relaxed and pain free delivery. It happened ! Pain free? As close as humanly possible with no drugs-it was the best labor/delivery ever and it wasn't the quickest. I was in control and I know that b/c of many prayers I sent up and the confidence that I had going'd pan out.
    So-try it...go through your day thinking 200s..whatever number you pick. Picture your clothes smaller and looser...all that-and then BECOME that man.BELIEVE!!!

    1804 days ago
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