Sunday, February 12, 2012
My weight today is 199!
For some that might be an outrageously high number, a wake up call. For me, it is the best number I have seen yet!
I don't remember exactly when I last weighed under 200 pounds, but I know I was in elementary school, 4th or 5th grade probably. I will dig out my old report cards at some point and see. They used to weigh us each grading period and it was written on the back of the card. I remember my mom had written fictitious, lower weights over the ones more than 200. My grades were always fabulous and I can only imagine the combination of pride over that and the desire to share my academic success with family and co-workers mixed with the shame my weight must have caused her. The fear the person looking at my report card would turn it over and see the shameful numbers on the back. I wonder, did she look at any of that as HER shame....or was it mine alone? I certainly have felt ashamed of my weight most of my life.
I'm glad I'm coming to terms with that now. I have told more people my actual weight, only close friends, and only when it's relevant.
I've gotten no shameful looks or remarks as I approached 199, only people who are amazed that I have com from over 300 to where I am now. I no longer feel shame over my weight, or over any part of me.
Today, I am PROUD!