We talked it out
Friday, February 10, 2012
Josh never calls into work... never... and he did today. He got half way there, called his manager, said he had a family emergency that he just couldn't deal with at work. The good thing is he works for a company that acknowledges that he's a good employee and told him no biggie, come in tomorrow instead.
We ended up talking from 9 this morning until noon when we went out to lunch and then talked while we were there. Then we came home and took a nap together till HE got up to get the boys from school.
Thank you all for your advice yesterday, especially Mr. Spock with the best wifey in the world.
He was very on edge yesterday and didn't let me know. It bothers him that I feel stuck in Texas (which I posted about on Facebook yesterday). Then I said something about his health and he felt even worse and didn't know how to react.
He comes from an extremely broken home. I don't know how he functions as well as he does every day without breaking down. He puts so much on himself and internalized more than I thought he did. So we agreed to both go to a Dr. apt next Thurs. He's going to ask for a referral to the same cardiologist as I have. He would like to see someone about his depression that I honestly didn't know was as bad as it is. And we also both decided to move forward with our plans to move out of Texas. While I miss my family, moving back home won't fix me, and would probably stress me out more. And he's under constant pressure with his mom's health so he doesn't want to move close to her either. Right now we're thinking Oregon since we both loved it there.
So thank you everyone. I'm just not used to ever bickering with him. It was nice to actually get him to talk today. And I was able to let him know that I want to stop taking on everyone else's problems because his reaction was "I've always hated that you can't love yourself unless every one else feels loved first." I didn't know he knew that's how I felt. Men know more than we think. They just don't know how to voice it. I think I'm going to follow advice and get the men mars women venus book.
I feel so much better today.
It's like a million tons off my shoulders.
Being honest and letting skeletons out of the closet isn't as bad as I thought as long as I can trust the person I'm showing them to.