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He's got nice hands...

Friday, February 10, 2012

And once again I remind you to get your gray matter out of the gutter!

Guess what? I pay attention to the hands of strangers. If you and I crossed paths and I could get a good solid peek, I would probably be looking a your hands too.

The barista at the coffee joint (zoom zooming up my icy blended caffeinated stuff) has nice hands. I'm thinking that the black nail polish is some sort of a statement, but it doesn't distract me.

The wonderful check stand gal at my Trader Joe's and I often banter back and forth about the multitude of uses for freeze dried strawberries (AKA red fairy dust for my popcorn). She has no idea that while she swipes my diet Hansens pomegranate soda across the scanner, that I am admiring her efficient and pretty fingers, doing their task at hand (har har).

The ladies up the road who walk our beloved dog Olive both have tanned, tough hands. The type of hands that announce how much they love to be outdoors, and get their fingernails dirty in the garden. Hands with strength and purpose.

At my rheumatologist appointment today, the doctor was taking notes as I basically speed-talked myself to death, rattling off the ever growing checklist of prescriptions, pills, creams, and all non traditional methods I have tried to slow down my condition.
He had smooth, almond colored healthy hands, free of any blisters or wounds.

My hands were cute once. Currently, let's just say that they...aren't.
I was told when I was younger that I had piano hands more than once, and even that I should try out the violin. I guess that means that they we long and lanky? The Gwenneth Paltrow of fingers? These hands I drag around with me currently seem so foreign. I was not born with them, yet in some way, I guess I was?

Perhaps this is me of those instances where I want something that I cannot have (right now).
I know that we're not supposed to strive toward unrealistic goals. Perhaps I should heed the advice of another doctor I saw this week, who told me that it was critical for me to continue to work on altering my daily tasks to fit my worsening health.
Would that be like trashing your car because it was in a fender bender, and opting for the little moped scooter instead?
What if I want to keep the car?!?

I don't think that I deserve a time-out in the corner for wanting back what I DID have once, right? And your struggle to get back those things in your life (whether it be a goal weight, crossing the finish line of a race, even a new career!) are all justified.
I want my functioning (and cute) hands and feet back, thank you very much.

So don't mind me, staring at your hands. I guess I am a bit envious.
But don't worry, I'm not one of those people who think it perfectly acceptable to ask you to peel an orange while I video tape you.

'Nuff Said
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • OOLALA53
    Corny as it sounds, your essence cannot be lost. Your essence is not your body or your actions. Your situation can change, but your essence is eternal. Only our outer selves long for things to be different than they are. Our inner selves can be at peace just observing the storms on the outside. To your essence, your hands are perfect. However they are IS what beauty is. Everything else is just a mistake of imagination your mind is making in the moment. And everything can change. When they do, that will be perfect, too.

    Don't hesitate to throw this all back in my face with a pie tin of shaving cream, if that will help! emoticon emoticon
    2199 days ago
  • CATS_MEOW_0911
    Bren, everything about you is beautiful...and this blog shows why.
    2218 days ago
    emoticon There's something beautiful about hands - they do so much! Sorry you're going through so many health issues. It must be hard to deal with. I think you're handling it with a lot of grace *and* humor! Thanks for being a great spark friend and stay strong. There are a lot of people rooting for you. emoticon
    2224 days ago
    You have a way of reminding us to be thankful for what we can do instead of what we can't. emoticon
    I often complain about my hands. The swollen joints. The everyday pain. But I can peel an orange. And if you'd ask me to do it while you video taped it...I would. No matter how creepy. emoticon
    2225 days ago
    My absolute best features are my hands, feet, wrists and ankles. I really have never even thought about it until I just read your message. They are slender, nicely shaped and if the rest of me followed along, I'd be hot!! Ok, maybe not so much hot, but warm, for sure! emoticon
    It is those kinds of things that we take for granted. You are most definitely a gift, I thank my Lord for putting you in my life and I do and will continue to ask him to make your life sweet as it can be.
    2227 days ago
  • MISSB8604
    You are a gift!
    2227 days ago
    I know it's a good idea to listen to your doctor, but it's also important to listen to your gut -- which I know you do!
    emoticon emoticon
    2228 days ago
    Totally understandable! I wouldn't mind the kind of hands someone would want to video peeling an orange, but mine fall into the strength and purpose category. I've had professionals try to round out and girlie up my nails, but that just made my hands look like paddles with sausages with radioactive bubble gum hanging off the ends of them. So if you were born with lanky cuties, don't give up on them just for me! You can be jealous of the practicality of my paddles, and I'll be jealous of the natural beauty of yours:-)
    2229 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    Nuff said.
    2230 days ago
  • LILLI56
    I have always had old hands. I have very small hands that have lots of wrinkles on them. I remember the dish soap commercial when I was growing up when Marge was soaking her customers hands in them. I always wanted smooth pretty hands. I have freckles and veins on mine.

    I can understand what you are saying about your doc. Keep doing the things that you enjoy just don't over do it. But you should never give up. Maybe a little black polish on your nails will give you a dash of smash?? emoticon
    2230 days ago
    Never stop hoping and wanting! And as far as cutting back on daily tasks, I can see how it's very hard to let go of something that signifies a step backward. But what if you look at it differently. Rather than trashing that car for getting in a fender bender, you're just taking some time to polish it, vacuum up the glass, and maybe give it an extra bath, yes, and an oil change. You're just caring for that car that has been such a great vehicle all these years. Not putting it out for the repo man! That cute little vehicle is still awesome, even despite the little dent in the fender, and will serve you for many more years to come with the right care. Always keep wanting that fender to get fixed, but until you can find that right body shop, make sure to take care of that sweet, sleek, otherwise reliable car.
    2230 days ago
  • CANNIE50
    Oh, sweet-pea, I want this for you, too. You deserve this, and so much more. Bless you dear Bren. emoticon
    2230 days ago
    I was always told I have piano hands. I thought it was because I could stretch my fingers out and make a straight line from my pinkie to my thumb. No, there is nothing wrong with wanting your cute hand and feet back. That my happen in the future if they can come up with something to help you. I'm a hand person too! emoticon
    2230 days ago
    I can relate to your hand & foot fetish Bren. When I'm out I watch people walking. I am fascinated by how effortlessly some people walk. Smooth even stride. They look like they could walk forever.

    2230 days ago
    Well, like on Seinfeld... I feel like I have 'Man Hands". Stubby, and dry at the moment! lol! I admire your courage, and humor! Wanting functioning(and cute) hands, and feet is MORE than reasonable. Take care!
    2230 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/10/2012 7:06:56 PM
    "And once again I remind you to get your gray matter out of the gutter! "
    * Seeing the title against your Fozzie bear profile pix might not allow for that.

    "I'm thinking that the black nail polish is some sort of a statement, but it doesn't distract me. "
    * Emo Sparkling vampires, Gothies and Adam Lambert would approve though

    "My hands were cute once. Currently, let's just say that they...aren't. "
    emoticon emoticon

    "I don't think that I deserve a time-out in the corner for wanting back what I DID have once, right? "
    * Of course not.

    You are probably handling it a lot better than I. Have you looked up homeopathic or natural cures?

    I needed glasses up until about 8 months ago when my doctor unprescribed them. I started eating a lot of fruits and other foods with anti-oxidants. I fought for years on that.

    I admit that I really don't understand the condition that you deal with, but see if there is anything that you can do.

    "But don't worry, I'm not one of those people who think it perfectly acceptable to ask you to peel an orange while I video tape you.
    Creepy!!! "
    * Oh, so now you're judging me uh....I mean, Yeah! Hypothetically if someone did that it would be creepy.

    (*whew* That was close)
    2230 days ago
    Like Forrest Gump says "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get". Sorry you got the bad chocolate, but there are lots of other chocolates in the box and I bet you have alot of them and I bet as you are looking at other people's hands, they are looking at what makes you such a sparkly person. Keep Sparkling!!!
    emoticon emoticon
    2230 days ago
  • LGAR519
    I think it is wonderful that you haven't given up on your health. Wanting normal hands and feet is acceptable. And I believe in miracles! Never give up!!!
    2230 days ago
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