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January 10th I Need to Vent

Friday, February 10, 2012

I love my husband. Really I do. But I hate the things he does.
Let's start with the dishes. I try to keep on top of them, but sometimes it's hard with a little one who wants to "help." So normally at night the dishwasher is dirty, but not full enough to run. Hubby will come home and eat after work, but then leave his dishes on the counter. Doesn't rinse them off or even check the dishwasher. So I have to scrub them the next morning.
We have a dog. I don't mind the dog. I developed an allergy to her when I was pregnant with L. L has had eczema since he was two weeks old. Last year we found out that he is highly allergic to dogs, and several other things. We also found out that N is allergic to dogs. So for the past several weeks we've been keeping the dog in the garage and outside during the day, and once the boys are in bed we let her back in the house. It seems to be making a difference. I take care of her. It's L's job to giver her food and water, and I brush her and clean up after her. I ask that Hubby walks the dog. He doesn't get home from work most nights until 10pm, and I'm not going out that late. Although we live in a safe neighborhood, we have few street lights. Our dog is 6 and out of shape. She also will not allow anyone to cut her nails without a fight. So to help keep her nails short, she needs to be walked. I was doing it, but once it got colder, I have no want to go outside. He isn't bothered by the cold, and is bigger than me, so he has less of a hard time with her. He says that after work he doesn't want to have to come home and change clothes and go back out. I feel like he's being lazy.
He doesn't take a lunch to work. He won't take the time to make one himself, and if I make one he normally forgets it here at home. Most days I have to hear about how hungry he is. I have no sympathy.
I'm just so frustrated. I feel like he doesn't care enough to do what I ask. I also feel like I'm living with a teenager. I have to ask multiple times for him to do something, and even then he has to ask whet he was supposed to be doing. When it comes to what he wants out of life, the answer is stuff. He wants a faster car, a bigger tv, a louder stereo. I get that we are still young, but we have kids. Hell there are still nights that I wake up at 3am and he's playing a video game. I'm just fed up.
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  • JESSICA2140
    Same boat here! I'm beginning to think it's not my husband that is broken, but just men in general!! I hear tales told by my friends about husbands who help with the kids, clean up after themselves, spend time with their families, and act like general adults ON THEIR OWN!! I've decided all of my friends are lying. :) Men are big kids, and they never seem to grow up!!
    2229 days ago
  • JANDK156
    Sorry but that CAPLOCK comment from someone who doesn't even know you is really creepy! "Delete!"
    2229 days ago
    I completely feel your pain. So hard to deal with keeping everything in your life healthy and in check when you're getting zero help (and more work) from the person you live with.
    2229 days ago
    PLACE A AD ON CRAIGSLIST AND FIND A GOOD HOME FOR THE DOG...THE DOG ISN'T GETTING THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES, YOU'RE RESENTFUL OF IT AND IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR YOUR CHILD. PLUS THEY'RE EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN AND DIFFICULT TO LEAVE IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT OF TOWN FOR A ROMANTIC GET-A-WAY. Put soap in the dishwasher ahead of time, leave the door open with a note that says, 'Please turn on' or leave some soapy water in the sink for his late dishes. Take a shower before bed, smell good and dress in something cute...(no flannel pj's please) and ask him to "come in the bedroom I have something to show you..." HeeHee emoticon
    2229 days ago
  • JANDK156
    Leave his crusted up bowl for HIM to clean up and watch how quickly he trains himself to put it in the dishwasher. (I just left my son's dinner plate and utensils in the sink overnight and when he came home from school and had to run out for tennis practice, told him he had to do it there and then, and when he whined, I said I wasn't the one who left it there thinking it would find its own way into the dishwasher). Tell him you love him, but you're his wife, not his mother. Show him this blog and tell him you're getting so stressed, you forget what month it is! emoticon I know you tried to find another home for the dog, and it has to be hard having a dog that 3 of the 4 of you are allergic to.
    2229 days ago
    I feel your pain! It is always the little day to day things that frustrate us about our spouses. I've had so many people to tell me not to sweat the small stuff, but isn't life made up of about 98% small stuff? A few years ago, I finally hit on something that helps me when I find myself wanting to let my husband sleep with the dog. On days when he is beign extra kind or sweet, even if it is to someone other than me, I make a note of it. A real physical note. Then I stash it in my lingerie drawer. On the days when he is getting on my last nerve, I pull a few notes out of the drawer and remember the reasons why I love the guy in the first place. Hope it helps - and in the meantime - I'm glad you've found a great way to get rid of all the frustration! emoticon
    2229 days ago
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