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    SPADIVA77   17,165
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Growing Pains

Thursday, February 09, 2012

It's been a rough week this week.My middle bonus son (he's 22) has being seeing this girl that is 9 or 10 years older than him; divorced and has a six year old son. She lives in KY at the moment and last week we found out he will be moving in with her this summer. There has been some issues that have come up over the past year with them combining their finances and some poor decision making on his part. Anyway, he has been very distant from the family, me especially since about October of last year. We had a very close relationship and now it is virtually nonexistent. I know that kids grow up and move out but under the circumstances it just breaks my heart. We are not happy with his decision to move in with her AND we aren't really fan of the relationship. There have also been instances recently where we have asked him to do something and he wants to argue with us and makes us feel as though we are putting him out. My husband tells me this is just him growing up and gaining independence, but it still hurts that he is treating us this way. So in addition to all that going on we started remodeling the guest bath Monday and that has had most of my attention as well. I just haven't been as focused as I have been. This week I have felt the need to indulge in some cravings I have been having which is chocolate. So what did I do... I baked a cake, a chocolate cake with chocolate chips mini size and regular and white chocolate chips. It was so good. I wouldn't really say that I have gone off the deep end with eating but I just haven't really been that hungry in general and when I would get hungry I would opt for the not so healthy choice. I haven't tracked my food much either. I ended up missing my class Tuesday because the electrician didn't get to the house until late in the afternoon. I haven't got in much activity since Saturday's walk with my dog. But I did spend Monday and Tuesday stripping the wall paper in the bathroom. I weighed today I am up 2 pounds to 274. UGH... but today I am back on track.I just don't feel as sparkly as I have. I also have 113 more days until my oldest bonus son and his fiance arrive from England which stress me out because I really want to be able to enjoy myself while they are here and I won't be able to if I am still at this weight. I know I am getting ahead of myself. I still have 4 months and some change to lose weight but still... I feel I have wasted the past 9 days. Today is a new day and I just need to take it minute by minute.

I think kids growing up is harder on the parents than the kids.... anyone agree?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDREA0301 2/10/2012 3:12PM

    Kids growing up IS harder on the parents - especially when we feel they aren't making good choices. Unfortunately, most learning/maturing happens by experience and you'll no doubt not too far down the road be biting your tongue to keep from saying, "I told you so!"

Just get focused back on YOU and making those good, healthy decisions again. Remind yourself how GOOD you feel when you eat right and get your physical activity in.

You got this girl!!!!!

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1STEELERLADY 2/9/2012 8:50PM

    Oh my! I totally understand. I have a 24 year old son and we have had our share of ups and downs. My son has some major issues and it has really taken a toll on me and my husband (stepdad). I take one day at a time...that's all I can do. I also go to a group therapy one day a week. It is by far the hardest thing in my life. I love my son dearly but it is not easy dealing with all the stress. I hope he starts to make some better decisions soon.

Hang in there! Remember you can't help anyone if you don't take care of yourself first.

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SRBULLARD1 2/9/2012 7:25PM

    You are at one of those exits on the interstate I keep talking about. You are not going to decide to live here, you just have to check your map, get some new directions, have a chocolate "fill up" and then head on toward your destination.

As for bonus son 1. You will never be able to say or do anything to change his mind. The heart wants what the heart wants. You could spend tons of mental energy trying to make that situation different than what it is, but at the end of the day he is going to assert his "adultness" and run his own life as he sees fit. You can lead a horse to water...

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JUSTCALLMETEA 2/9/2012 5:43PM

    Hang in there! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/9/2012 5:44:19 PM

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DARLINGDEE85 2/9/2012 12:30PM

    It makes it hard when we feel like we have failed, but you haven't.. you're still on a journey, and that journey is going to have ups and downs.. what you have to do .. is focus on the ups. i know it's difficult because we don't know how to handle the downs when we are experiencing them.. i know that i always turn to food first.. or cry a lot and then eat. LOL. but that is why we are where we are, and the most important thing.. is that we know we don't wanna stay here.. we wanna grow and learn from the mistakes. so you hold your head up high, and march on.

i don't know what you are going through with children since i don't have any.. but i did lose a dog that i have had for 9 years.. but what makes me more sad, is that the other outside dog i have is her daughter, and it makes me sad to hear her cry and whine for her mother who is no longer here. those two dogs are my dad's pride and joy, but he hasn't been able to play with them since late august, because he had a stroke. my mama has COPD, a lung disease/breathing problem.. and she is waiting on him and so it takes a lot out of her. so there is a lot of turmoil at my house right now, and i am struggling with finding the gumption to exercise.. which i haven't. but i had a convo with my mama and said starting monday, we are getting up early and she's doing the exercises with me, of course they will be modified for her. and that way she might have more energy for my dad, while he is trying to learn to walk and use his arm again.

i'm not saying this to have pity.. but i am saying, we all struggle.. we all have those moments where we feel we have failed because of "real life" getting in our way.. but i just have to remember that i am doing this so i can help them, help myself, and help my future family as well.

hope this helps.. i ramble a bit. i'm always here for you.

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