Wednesday, February 08, 2012
O as in obese. I never thought I would be using that word to describe myself. My SOB gets angry because when I was young and stupid, around 18 years old, I told him I would never get fat. It just wasn't me to be fat. Well, in the last 4-5 years all my weight has done is gone up, up, up. I did have a while that I weighed 165#...I have added almost twenty pounds since then. It makes me sick. I hate myself. I don't look in the mirror. But this is still not enough motivation to really get my fat butt moving. I am lazy. I have tried to start back on the treadmill or walk outside when it is nice. I have a neighbor that walked 4 mi./day when the weather was better. I tried to hook up with her and walk, but my schedule didn't always jive with hers. Now I am stepping out on my own to do 2 miles/day.
My SOB is embarrassed to be seen with me. He is back to bringing up my size on a regular basis. I tell him his comments do not motivate me, but he cannot get that through his head. Our house is so stressful, I am sure that has something to do with it, too. I work crazy hours and hardly sleep. That is another strike against me.
I have made a serious, conscious effort to cut out the fast food and the sodas. I used to stop at McD's or BK between jobs. No more. The soda is difficult. It has been 2 days with out one and I haven't dropped over yet. One day at a time.
I have tried to start simple. Walking, jogging at times on the treadmill. Squats with a chair. Hydrants and leg lifts. Cutting my portions and trying to make better choices. Water. Water. Water. I need to lose 50#.....but right now my goal is to lose 2# this week. Then 2# the next week.
I'm just going to keep on keepin' on until I get there. Until I get DONE!!