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    KRISTOLJONES   9,614
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Tie it all together


Tuesday, February 07, 2012

I've figured out a few things over the past several months of quiet reflection (like quiet can be found in a loud mind).
First, the old adage is 100% true: You can't really take care of others until you've cared for yourself. Caring for oneself as you intend to care for others is key.

Second, there are some paths you are only meant to take once.

Third, nobody will protect your place for yourself in your priority list for you. Meaning: If you don't value yourself in your priority list, nobody else will.

Fourth, the best moments in life are seldom found by being 'safe'.

Fifth, melting glass makes me feel powerful, and I enjoy that feeling very much. I'll expand on that one a bit...I was a free-form ceramic sculptor once upon a time. My husband got me an electric ceramic kiln for my 39th birthday (last April) and over the past several months, I've been playing with slumping/melting glass in said kiln. I'm starting to get pretty good at it along with my resin pendants, photography and some paintings. I got a business license in December as an artist/designer and have started going to some local art fairs/sales. I'm starting an online store that should be up and running by the end of this month (God willing and the creek don't rise).

Sixth, no one ever said on his death-bed 'I just wish I'd worked more'.
Really...who would wish for that? I was hired in November as an insurance field inspector for real estate insurance. Having been an appraiser for 10 years, field inspections were nothing new to me. I got the job the day after I heard L&I was going to cut my funding off as I was considered employable, even though technically I was employed, but was in rehab for work injuries. I considered it timely that, as soon as I panicked and turned back to the safe/familiar real estate field, I got a job. It took only two weeks for me to get consumed with the need to get reports written and off my desk. I began to pay a friend to catch my kids at the bus stop and watch them for several hours while I spent more time working. Of course, I was paid nowhere near what I made as an appraiser, so at the end of the day, I was paying out almost as much as I earned in gas and sitter costs. On top of that, I was moody, not sleeping well and the monster that consumed me as an appraiser/business owner was beginning to rear its ugly head. I was quoted as saying "This job is really INTERFERING with my YOGA SCHEDULE".

It took two weeks of my hubby asking nicely for me to finally quit the job. His only request was that I spend the next six months focusing on producing and selling my art.

{everything stops}

{regrouping}

{breathing rhythmically}

{keeping up yoga schedule}

I have a plan, great support in the shape of both friends and family and a desire to GO FOR IT! No, I don't expect the world to be rocked by my work. Having sold some of my resin and glass pieces in December at the two art/craft sales I participated in, I got some great feed back and a little stronger courage to give it a shot. With my husband, family and friends behind me, I am shaking off my fear and am looking forward to focusing on an important aspect of me for the next several months. There is no reason I can't do this.

Where does my Spark fit into all of this? I'm not quite sure. For now, I'm putting all residual energy I can muster into creative avenues. That's the energy I can 'spare' after giving as much to my kids, my marriage, myself and a designated portion for extended friends and family. I don't believe even for a moment that I'm the first person to over-commit to groups on Spark. I'm probably not the only one that ever found herself overwhelmed and ducked out for awhile. I know FOR SURE that I'm not the only person who was genuinely helped by Spark, and I don't feel like my journey here is over. Humor me while I work all this out. I am so grateful for the friends I've made here, and the support I've been given. The support I've given to others here has helped me too, and I look forward to offering it again as I am able.

Wishing you all great success in February and beyond. Remember, it's the shortest month of the year, so make it a great one!


On a distantly related note, I was thinking recently of my active child and young adult-hood. I was active as all get-out. Then I was a slug for a decade. As I approach my 40th birthday in April, I am proud of myself looking back at how active I've been over the past four years. I got active again at the start of 2008 by swimming 3-5 days a week. 2009, I took to cycling. 2010, I took on a ridiculously physical job (really, that's the main thing that attracted me to it) then spent 2011 recovering from my work-sustained injuries walking...at first only a block before pain was overwhelming...now up to five miles at a time, basking in the sun shine and stomping in puddles on the rainy days. I'm exploring every playground in and around my town with the kids. I walk a mile nearly every school day with dear friends gained simply through the kids school bus stop. emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MELIVA 2/7/2012 11:29PM

    This is sooo cool. I am so glad you are doing something that you enjoy and getting away from the things that simply suck your energy (ie: toxic job). Take as much time as you need; we'll be here! Best wishes!

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BOBINVA 2/7/2012 10:57AM

    Keep exploring those playgrounds. Literally and figuratively. You are giving something invaluable to your children. Thanks for keeping things rockin.

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SALEX52 2/7/2012 2:34AM

    :-)

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