I know that I haven't fallen completely off the wagon, however, I do feel like I've become a bit more lax in my efforts. This doesn't fly with me. I can't afford to be in the maintenance mind set right now. I have so much left to lose before I can even consider what that might include. So I have to re-prioritize, remember why I got to where I was in the first place, and why I NEVER want to go back there, EVER, EVER again.
Long term goals:
-Lose 67 more pounds. This would put me at my first goal of 190. I will reevaluate if I want to lose further after that. I don't know if 190 is possible. I'm so tall and have a large frame... I don't know if 190 exists in here. The Wii fit says to be at a healthy weight I should be 148. HAH! Never gonna happen!
-Become a size 18 or smaller.
-Run a 5k
Medium term goals:
-214 pounds. The weight I was as freshman in HS. 1/4/01 – To be this weight again would be amazing. I know it was never any less than that after that day. It only kept rising from there.
Short term goals:
-Lose 100 pounds. 237. 20 more pounds to go!
-Work on Jillian Michaels 30 day shred as daily as possible.
Ways to get to where I want to be:
-More veggies and fruit
-I've gotten a little lazy on the eating out thing... this is how I got to where I was... no more of this! Only on special occasions. (Subway and Panera don't count... those are my “healthy” places)
-Stay around 1700 calories a day. One cheat day around 2000 calories.
-Start weight lifting more consistently. Right now its about 3 days a week. Bump this up to 4 (or every other day, no matter whats going on) And do it for about 45-60 minutes.
-Start alternating walking days (on incline only) and elliptical days. Elliptical at least 10 resistance for 30 min straight.
Often times we read in blogs on this site about how we didn't realize we looked so bad. This is true with me as well. I didn't think I was THAT girl. The fat one that hid behind her baggy clothes and sense of humor. Now that I've shed 80 pounds, I have this confidence that I wasn't sure existed in me. I'm starting to wear clothes that are fit and make me look good with my new curves. Before it was baggy sweatshirts and the same pair of jeans (I had 3-4 of the same exact pair of jeans because I thought they looked good on me. They didn't. They just stretched to fit over my chub.) We all wonder how we got there... I know exactly how I got there. Whole boxes of brownies and no portion control, what-so-ever.
I'm the one on the left... I thought this shirt looked good on me, hid the fat. Nope. Just made me look like a balloon. 337ish pounds.
I don't remember the last time I weighed 257. Probably because when I was there I was only there for a minute, climbing up the fat ladder. It was a daunting task at 337, thinking about losing 150 pounds or so. Now its just life. I'm actually doing it for me and am sticking with it because I can't give up. Not again. Not after I've come this far. I love the compliments and the looks that people give me even though they don't say anything. If I give up I've just let myself down and let people know that I'm always gonna be that fat girl. I don't want that. Not at all.
Again, the one on the left, about 68 pounds down here.
I'm still so scared though. This journey feels like it is going to be never ending. I'm going to have to watch my food intake for the rest of my life. Maybe not counting calories and writing them down, but at least still be diligent about my working out and eating right. But I suppose, nothing in life comes easy, right?