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    MAYFIELD0801   19,666
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My life is horrible.

Monday, February 06, 2012

I am so damn depressed I dont know what to do. I have lost 30 pounds over the last few months but now am gaining it back and i dont know how to stop it right now. All I want to do is sleep, work, and unfortunately when I'm home eat. I've had to leave a relationship of 13 yrs that I thought would not end, and never thought they would treat me this way. I've been gone now for 7 months and only 2 times in the 7 months have they contacted me. It's like I dont exist to them anymore. I just cant take this and i dont know what to do. I have never been alone and it's hard when your my age to change. Sometimes I have good days but mostly i just dont want to do anything. I've lost so much in the last few months I dont know how to go on. I've lost a family(they had kids from a previous), the person I thought I would grow old with, and my very best friend ever. I just dont know what to do. emoticon
It's been easier before to come back and start over but this time I just dont know.
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MAYFIELD0801 2/6/2012 10:35PM

    I really dont have a doctor and I dont want to be put on meds cuz I know thats what they will do. I thank you for the words of encouragement it is much appreciated, more than you know. I really have no one to share anything with these days. My kids are to busy for mom and other than my last relationship I really have no friends, not good at that kind of thing, so just sharing on here even if it's to myself helps alittle. I know in the back of my head that things will get better but right now I just dont know what to do in the meantime. I'm just going day to day and dealing with the here and now. Thats all I can do. I just hope in the meantime I dont get as big as an elephant. I'm trying to not eat and if I do eat healthy but for some reason its just not working.

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RAINBOWCHOC 2/6/2012 1:58PM

    sending you good vibes, there are many Sparkers on here who have experienced the pain you speak of.
I hope you will see your doctor as you appear to have a form of depression. As the previous poster says, exercise is a brilliant first line treatment for mild depression....and it can be free!
best wishes for you, there will be better times to come but will need to be discovered.

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MDOYLEMA 2/6/2012 1:50PM

    Hugs! Not sure if this is appropriate, but I recommend you see your Doctor and tell him/her what you are going through.

Grief brings depression, so at the minimum you might want to just go for a walk. I have had long term relationships end and lost loved ones and know the grief will pass. It takes time but exercise and sharing have helped me travel the road.

I have been single now for a few years. I am living a life I never imagined while I was in a committed relationship. I wish you peace and joy.

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