Sunday, February 05, 2012
My mystery illness has been getting worse -- will be seeing the doctor this week for more testing. In the meantime, I'm supposed to avoid basically any real physical exhertion. Not really a problem, as I've lost feeling all over (tingling, like when your foot "falls asleep"), but in my arms and legs especially, and have a really serious pain at the base of my neck. I'm even having a little trouble breathing, but so far not enough to make me think I ought to go to the emergency room.
But still, I feel like a slug for not exercising. And of course, even though I probably have bigger things to worry about right now, I'm worried about gaining my weight back. Maybe I'm focusing on that to avoid worrying about what might be wrong with me? Eating has been mostly OK, but I have to watch it with the "treats." An occasional treat isn't bad in itself, but they were becoming more frequent. Since I can't exercise, I don't have a lot of room for extra calories, unfortunately.
Also concerned that my illness may force me to be out of work for an extended period. I took a lot of time off because of my Dad's illness last year -- but I was lucky to have worked an insane amount of surplus hours in the first half of the year, before he got sick. I only just made my billable target for last year, but I did make it. I won't have that cushion this year, so any extended illness would involve either a reduced schedule (and salary to match), or disability, also accompanied by a reduction in income. NOT something that we need to deal with right now.
But I suppose I should not borrow trouble, and focus on the things that I can do something about right now. I'm keeping close watch over my diet, and although I can't do real exercise, I try to make sure to get in light physical movement, and stretching to keep myself in shape. Also trying to keep my work in good order, so that I am not facing any more stress on that front than necessary -- although it has been difficult to force myself to keep working when I feel so physically awful. So far, I've been able to take things one day at a time. Here's hoping I can keep it up!