Sunday, February 05, 2012
Well Here I am Mad as H E double hockey sticks at myself
, I hate it when I am my own worse enemy. I hate when I let numbers control me
I worked so hard this last week. Exercised EVERY DAY swimming and aqua classes. This is a new concept for me to get up and Move is just not in me..I was exhausted. I ached, but I kept going
. It was going to better me!! I controlled my urges and ate in my ranges without any real difficulty.
All to GAIN a 1/2 a pound. I was livid, upset to tears. So what do I do I run to the nearest dealer for my fix A Big country breakfast, fried taters and a loaded omelet with toast and fresh jam. Hey your off the wagon go full boogie... Ran into another dealer having a double entrée special on Chinese food Yea Score!! Take it All in feel the rush of fullness, the warm contentment overwhelming me
Now all of a sudden shame and embarrassment overcome me
hatred for what I have become
. This drug has destroyed my girlish figure. This drug has consumed my mid life attention span, This drug has ruined my ability to move and breath, Yet I continue to allow it to lead me down a path I need to alter. The road less taken is full of shadows and hard to follow at times. It is very easy for me to deviate from the path.
So here I am. Pulling myself back on the wagon heading toward a clean life.