THIS LAST WEEK HAS BEEN THE ROUGHEST TIME I'VE HAD, EMOTIONALLY, SINCE MY FATHER PASSED AT THE END of NOVEMBER. I'VE LEARNED THE HARDWAY, AS USUAL WHO MY FRIENDS ARE AND WHO THEY AREN'T. I KNOW I'M NOT WHAT THEY SAY I AM, WHAT THEY THINK I AM AND I HAVE HAD THE HARDEST TIME DEALING WITH THE ACCUSATIONS FOR THE LAST WEEK, BUT I KNOW IT'S TIME TO LET IT GO. EVERYTHING, ALWAYS SEEMS TO COME BACK TO THAT SERENITY PRAYER. THERE ARE THINGS AND PEOPLE OUTSIDE OF ME THAT I JUST CANNOT CHANGE THEM OR THEIR MINDS ON WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT ME, SO IT'S TIME TO CLEAN OUT THE FRIENDS LIST AGAIN. iT'S NOT SO MUCH THAT I WAS ACCUSED BY 1 OR 2, IT'S THAT OUT OF ALL WHO KNEW, ONLY 2 MADE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO BE MY FRIEND.
BESIDES THAT, MY DENTAL SURGERY WENT WELL LAST FRIDAY. I HAD A MINOR SETBACK ON MONDAY, BUT ALL IS OKAY. JUST THIS WEEK OF STRESS AND DENTAL STUFF KNOCKED ME OFF MY GAME FOR A BIT, BUT AS OF TOMORROW MORNING...I'M RIGHT BACK TO IT. GOTTA START RECORDING ALL MY DAILY STUFF AGAIN..SUGARS, FOODS, LIQUIDS, EXERCISE, WATER INTAKE, STRESS LEVEL AND ENERGY LEVELS. IT'S TRUE...WHEN YOU RECORD ALL OF THAT IT MAKES YOU SO MUCH MORE AWARE OF WHERE YOU ARE GOING WRONG AND WHY!! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK IN THE GAME! I'M JUST THE KIND OF PERSON THAT TAKES A LITTLE LONGER TO HEAL, EMOTIONALLY, BECAUSE I'M A LOT MORE SENSITIVE THAN MOST PEOPLE AND EVERYTHING GOES STRAIGHT TO MY HEART. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME A WUSS, A LOSER, OR A QUITTER, JUST ALLOWS ME THE EXTRA TIME I NEED TO GET THINGS CLEAR IN MY OWN HEAD BEFORE JUST BRUSHING IT OFF! MOSTLY, I'VE JUST HAD TO REMIND MYSELF THAT GOD KNOWS WHAT IS TRULY IN MY HEART AND SO DO I, AND THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS. I STILL COMPLETED THE 8 WEEK CHALLENGE WITH FLYING COLORS AND AM STARTING IT AGAIN UNTIL I DECIDE WHAT DIRECTION I REALLY WANT TO GO WITH EATING! I'VE LEARNED THIS FOR SURE: EXERCISE IS THE KEY TO EVERYTHING!!!! SO, WHEN I GET UP TOMORROW MORNING I'M STARTING OUT AMBITIOUS AND GOING TO TRY MY 2 MILE HIKE, SEE IF I CAN DO IT AND HOW LONG IT TAKES AND THEN START THE HOUSE (UGH)! I WILL BE REPORTING TOMORROW TO SEE IF I STUCK TO MY PROMISE!
THE BEST NEWS IS, I HAVE STUCK WITH ONE THING AND THAT IS I AM STILL COMPLETELY SMOKE FREE FOR 34 DAYS NOW AND IT WAS REALLY HARD GETTING THRU THE LAST WEEK WITHOUT SMOKING, BUT I DID IT, WHICH JUST PROVES...I'M STRONGER THAN I THINK AND I LOVE WHO I AM!! PEACE...-brenda G