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    YOUNGCRONE   6,490
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Relecting on Hard Work

Friday, February 03, 2012

I don't know.... it seems like I do nothing BUT hard work. I work an extended day at my regular job so that I may have every other Friday off. When I come home, my partner immediately wants to eat. Then, I have maybe an hour to "clean out" my email and do other stuff that *I* need to do (including washing my dinner dishes) before my partner wants me to come and watch TV with her, or it's time for me to go to the gym, which has been mandated by my bariatric surgeon. When I get to the gym, I'm not one of these people who can do 30 minutes and leave.... I put in a whole 30 minutes on the treadmill, plus cool down, and 30 more minutes on the stationary bike, plus cool down. Then, I try to do some strength training like leg presses, and triceps kick backs, and resistance band stuff, lat pulldowns, etc. I should also be "swimming" or water jogging, but sometimes there just isn't enough time to do that, too. HARD WORK. I get home about 9:30 - 10:00 pm, just in time to fall into bed and get up at 4:45 in the morning to go to my job again. On weekends, up until recently, it seemed that we would spend ALL Saturday shopping. We'd hit WalMart for the bulk of the stuff because it's so much cheaper, then King Soopers for things WalMart doesn't carry, like CarbMaster Yogurt and Polanner Sugar-Free Preserves with Fiber and higher quality fruits and vegetables, and then Safeway for Lucerne low fat and fat free cottage cheese. That left Sunday for doing something Debe needed to do so she doesn't feel so house bound. So, virtually no time for me to do what I need to do. In the past few weeks that has changed as Debe has taken to doing the shopping by herself on the way home from her medical Qi Gong appointment on Sundays, which is really helpful and gives me a couple of hours to do what I want to do, but usually that's trying to clear out my email, which doesn't get me my new rosaries made.... :-\ I am suffering from quite a bit of frustration, and not a little bit of self-pity, combined with a little bit of depression (from being peri-menopausal, I think).... and that, along with an addictive personality (if I put just ONE chocolate or piece of taffy or tablespoon of sunflower kernals in my mouth, I will keep going back until they are gone), is giving me trouble in coping with staying on "the path". It is TRULY hard work staying on the path. But, I have options. I have support groups, registered dieticians I can work with, stuff like that. AND, I am down 5 pounds since my visit with my surgeon the day before Thanksgiving. That helps a little bit.... but 5 pounds in 2 months just isn't good enough for me. It should be 8 pounds or more in 2 months.... and so I stuggle.

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RUBYCLAIRE 2/4/2012 4:21PM

    Oh, my dear Erica, I feel for you, but must agree with Reina about taking more control of your own life.

I'm wondering if your Honey wanted you to do the food shopping with her because she wanted to spend more time with you, if that's the case, then maybe SHE could help out by HER fixing dinner so that it's all set when YOU get home from a long day at the office. I find that so many people in relationships have now reversed their priorities to better accommodate the working partner. If both partners work then I know they split the cooking & cleaning. Whoever does NOT cook does the dishes clean-up & vise versa. This is just a suggestion.

But again I have to agree with Reina with regards to the gym. Ask yourself, "why do I need to spend so much time, and do ALL those things at the gym?" I do hope you might try Reina's suggestion of 1/2 hour in the morning & 1/2 hour at nite.

Is the doctor saying that you MUST go to the gym & do ALL those work outs on a daily basis? If the answer is "yes" then I guess you have no choice, but if this is your doing, might I suggest the following? My son is a personal fitness trainer & has always told me to break-up the parts of the body so you are NOT doing the same things every day. He said to NOT do lower body every day but every two to three days. He said the muscles all need their rest in-between work-outs. Try to shake things up a bit. Do one day of 30 minute cardio walk and then lower body strength training, take the next day off; the following day do your 30 minute cardio walk & finish with upper body training & then take the next day off; next day another 30 minute cardio walk & then core body training. Take off the next day; finish the week by doing nothing but water aerobics. That should give you a bit more time for you, so you don't burn out and get so depressed. Some of these things can alos be done at home, too, The flex bands cost peanuts & so do weights. A balance ball isn't too much either. PLUS for another change of pace, you might want to try to do the cardio by going for a walk outside, or in a mall.
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I do hope you haven't taken my tips as anything but love. We do care!
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QUEEN_REINA 2/4/2012 10:28AM

    Crone, this comment is going to be all about tough-love, because I think you need it and because I care.

To me it sounds like you need to really think about what's important to you and re-organize your life. Like the gym for instance, why are you spending that much time each day--it sounds nuts. IF you really need to do all that workout, get up early and do a little half hour, then do a half hour at night..

Plus I would have a talk with my partner about actually being a partner, instead of a liability. You choose to be with someone because they enhance your life and because you are better with them than without, not to have another kid to raise.

It sounds harsh I know, and I don't want to make you angry or hurt your feelings, but this is your life and you need to take control of it because you don't sound very happy.

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