Wednesday, February 01, 2012
I have been away a long time. Way too long. My life has been hectic lately. We moved into town in the summer. It was my husbands idea and we ended up having a huge fight over it because I didn't want to move. In the end it was the right decision. The kids like it here so much more and it is much better for them. They are all doing well at their new school and making friends. My Inlaws blame me for the move. Hubby has told them time and again that it was his wish not mine, but they don't believe him. They think I forced him into moving from a home he had for 28 years ( more than half his life). FIL finds fault with everything about our new house. Its hard for my husband. FIL has taken a dislike to our youngest son who is only 8. He hates all of them but to Adam he is just mean. He calls him names and makes faces at him. He refuses to serve him dessert when we visit and things like that. In other words things haven't changed on the inlaw front.
About a year ago I started not feeling well. It seemed like every day I got weaker and weaker. My legs were getting weak and it got to the point where I had to have help to dress. I went to the DR (several times) and they ran blood tests. Everything came back fine so they decided it was just depression and added Prozac to my Wellbutrin. My legs are slowly getting stronger but my body is not. In November my face started to swell and it is still swollen. I went to the DR again and they ran blood tests again. Everything came back fine so they dismissed it as a virus or something like that even though I haven't been suffering from the flu or even a cold. I kept going back and eventually they put me on penicillen which did nothing at all. Finally they send me to get my neck ultrasounded. I did that yesterday. The woman doing the scan found SEVERAL enlarged lymph nodes in my neck, one of which she discribed as huge. I was only aware of two of them before the appointment. She showed the pictures to the radiologist and he told her that they would have to get me in for a CTScan. I left feeling worried but pretty good since finally something was getting done. So here I sit waiting for my DR to phone me. I have an appointment on Monday, but I thought for sure I would have gotten a call back about this by now. I know its probably nothing but the waiting it killing me. I am so tired of not feeling well. It will probably sound wrong, but I want them to find something wrong so they can start to fix it.
My weight is up as usual and my activity level is the lowest it has ever been in my life. I need to turn my whole life around. On a positive note I have a wonderful husband and three wonderful (but noisy) sons.