Monday, January 30, 2012
***************WARNING, NOT A HAPPY BLOG, VERY HARD TO WRITE, BUT NEED TO GET IT OUT, NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY, LOOKING FOR A WAY TO LET GO***********
So, Saturday was a going away party for a friend of mine. It was great. In spite of a few people who randomly despise me for no reason, there were no issues. Hell, there weren't even issues with those people, we just ignored each other. And, I think I made peace with a few of them.
My back was seriously hurting, and my leg, so I bailed out kind of early. When I was giving my friends hugs, one "friend" asked me for a ride. I asked him where he lived, simply because I didn't want to drive all over town just to drop him off. He pulled me down the hall, which I assumed was to talk away from the music, which was so loud it was vibrating the walls.
Well, then he went in the bathroom and I fgured maybe he just had to pee and didn't want to lose me or have me leave without him or whatever.
But then, he pulled me into the bathroom with him. I tried resisting, but again, my back and my left leg were KILLING me, and struggling against him wasn't really an option. I stumbled and lost my balance. He yanked again, fully pulling me into the bathroom, where he promptly cloed the door. I asked him what he was doing and his answer was to try and kiss me.
Now, not that this should have made a difference, but I am technically NOT seeing anyone. There is a guy I hang out with and sleep with, whom I really like, but he's not ready for a relationship, and I don't mind waiting. And even if it never turns into anything, I'd be disappointed, but I wouldn't regret it, because I know I've gained a really great friend from it.
Well, I pushed the "friend" away and told him I was sleeping wiht someone and he told me he didn't give a f**k, that if it's not a relationship, it doesn't count and he tried to kiss me again. So, I pushed him again and told him let me rephrase, I'm seeing someone. He said, again, that he didn't give a f**k and he didn't believe me. At this point, he started trying to grab me, mostly on my chest and hips. I kept pushing him off.
Let me reiterate, the music in this house was loud, very loud. The cops had already shown up once and I was almost positive they would be making another appearance at some point. I instantly knew that there was no way I would be able to call for help and have any of the fifteen people there come help me. They never would have heard me. I started panicking.
I tried to talk him down, telling him no over and over, but he kept telling me that I was a liar and I wanted it and why would I even come into the bathroom with him if I didn't. I snapped at him, I was like if I wanted it, I wouldn't be saying no and my pants would be on the floor. He kept trying to kiss me and touch me.
The whole time, I was pushing him off of me and trying to get to the door, which he was blocking from me. And, whenever I reached for it, he would push me away from it. I tried reaching for my nearly dead cell phone, to call a friend I knew for sure would come help me, but as soon as I put my hands in my pockets, he was all over me, trying to kiss me again. I did only put one hand in a pocket at a time, but it was enough for me to not be able to keep his hands off of me. I gave up. I knew I couldn't get to the phone.
So, I put my right leg forward and pushed as hard as I could, trying to keep as much pressure off my left leg as possible. Had my back and leg not been hurting, he would have fallen into the tub and not been able to get up for a few seconds at least. But, as it were, I was in major pain and could barely move without being in excruciating pain. So, he stumbled a bit, enough.
The whole time, I was screaming at him. Telling him no, get off me. I was going to hurt him. (Big words from a semi cripple at the time, but I didn't know what else to say). So, I was yelling that I was going to hurt him as I pushed him as hard as I could. When I saw him stumble those two or three steps, my hand flew for the doorknob. I opened the door and stumbled out myself, barely making it, since he was already lunging for the door again.
Some random girl I don't know was in the hallway and overheard me saying I was going to hurt him. She asked who I was going to hurt and I said his name and said he was being an a$$hole. She laughed and walked towards the bathroom.
Part of me knows I should have warned her, hey he's drunk and looking to get laid and he's STILL in the bathroom, but I booked it out of there as quickly as possible.
I only said goodbye to one other person. I didn't say anything to anyone, until my best friend called me from England. She had some pretty shivvy advice and I think that when my phone died, cutting her off, I was pretty peeved with her too. She told me to ignore any rumors.
Again, I am not technically seeing anyone. I am free to sleep with whomever I want whenever I want. But, I am NOT that girl. I had just slept with the guy I'm doing whatever it is I'm doing with, the night before. I do NOT feel the need to sleep with more than one guy in less than twenty four hours. I was immediately worried this would get around, but not the truth. The "friend", who has been deleted off my facebook and out of my phone, has a big mouth and likes to lie. I don't care if I'm actualy dating this guy or not, I like him and I respect him and I don't want to lose any of his respect.
I finally told him about it all about an hour or so ago and he's ready to go talk to him or beat his a$$ or something, but I told him he doesn't have to. At this point, he said if anything needs to be done, he'll do it. So, hopefully nothing needs to happen.
And for inquiring minds, I have no proof. I have no real witnesses, that girl technically only heard me threaten him. I am not reporting this. I do not think they can do anything without evidence.