Where to start?
Monday, January 30, 2012
I last blogged at the end of September after turning 30 and feeling and in a bit of a third-life crisis. Apparently, I needed a good swift kick to make me appreciate my life more and since then, its been one dramatic health turn after another.
Now that things seem to be leveling out and I'm not a mess of constant pain and worry, I need to turn here for some love and support.
First, a brief recap of the last few months. I hate it when people go on and on about health stuff, so I'll keep it brief-- but maybe some people here can relate. First, in October, I herniated a disc very badly (just overnight) and was told by several docs that I would need surgery. Eventually, this has been helped dramatically with an epidural shot, oral steroids and aggressive physical therapy--but at the time, and for about 3 weeks--I was unable to do anything except lay flat on ice without blinding pain.
In the mean time, the combination of laying down a lot and being on the pill caused a bilateral pulmonary embolism (clots in my lungs putting pressure on my heart and breathing), a hospital stay, and a 6-month prescription for blood thinners. I'm incredibly lucky I didn't die. The doctor at the hospital told me they most often find these postmortem. Dear god.
But then the blood thinners combined with going off of the pill for the first time in 10 years caused extreme uterine hemorrhaging (I sincerely have never seen so much blood and my husband and I thought I was dying) which landed me in the hospital again.
Several months and a couple of procedures later, I'm okay again. Not myself, by a long stretch--but okay.
And here's where I need your help. I want to get back to being me. Depression and self-pity from all this and so much inactivity (I get winded easily and exercise now amounts to walking and doing back stretches) has caused some weight gain--about 10 lbs. And I need to stop that in its tracks! I want to eat healthier, exercise as much as my body permits and pull out of this slump. Okay, so I can no longer burn 500 calories at a time in Power Class or Spin. But I'm 30 years old and before all this I was strong! My body did what I wanted. I felt pretty sometimes and sexy sometimes and like I could accomplish what I wanted. I can get back there. I can build up to this. And I can take steps to feel good about myself in the mean time.
Here's my plan:
First, put myself on a natural and juice diet to get myself off of the cravings for processed foods. I find that if I can go cold turkey for about 2 weeks, I won't desire that stuff as much. So lean fish and chicken, beans, brown rice and as many fruits and veggies as I want for the next two weeks. nooothing processed--that means you, queso and pretzels!
Second, some new clothes. My wardrobe is getting seriously worn out. I need to look in my closet and find things that I'm happy to put on. During all this drama, I was called to be on a Grand Jury for two weeks over Christmas (nice timing, huh!?), which left me with about $300 of mad money that I am going to go SPEND!
Third, I'm putting my pedometer back on. I had to take it off for a while because the hundreds (yep, hundreds) of steps I was walking majorly depressed me. But I can make new goals now. No, I won't be able to hit 10,000 for quite a while. But if I walk a few more every day, I can have something to build on!
Fourth, make better use of the wonderful community here. I can blog during my lunch break, track to get back on track, and better support my friends here. Knowing I'm not alone in this is going to be really crucial, I think.
Okay, that's it for today. But you'll hear more from me soon!