Why is it everytime my life gears up another notch I abandon all fitness goals? I know this about my self; I've gone around this mountain so much there HAS to be an algebraic equation for it. (Or maybe a medical term?) I feel SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better when I am lighter. My breathing is easier, I sleep better, my clothes don't cut into me, my knees thank me. But, here I am again feeling frumpy.....and only myself to blame.
I am on my may to being as firmly packed as that pink elephant balloon. If I don't change my direction, in six weeks I will have gained back all the weight I lost last year. It is as if I purposely set out to sabotage myself. I am the evidence that failing to plan is planning to fail. Losing weight is easy compared to keeping it off. And it came off REAL easy last year while on the 17 Day Diet....lots of lean protein and veggies, limited fruit. It was exhilarating to not be obsessed with food and eating. It got boring.
While I am not overly afraid of heights, (I DID para-sail during my Hawaiian honeymoon twenty something years ago), you would have to push me off the cliff or out of an airplane to bungee jump or to parachute! I know it isn't the jump that kills you, it is the sudden stop at the end. Honestly, I believe my heart would stop before I hit the ground. Still, I would rather not hang over the railing to look at the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon gorge. Look at all those gorgeous balloons and imagine the daring adventurers soaring in them. Or fools, if you'd rather. My guess is there are as many as 150 balloons in that shot. I am imagining each of those balloons represents a pound of my body weight. (Used to be little body and will be again.) At every weigh in, there are 2-3 more balloons lifted up in the air.
I wonder if I could adopt a new mindset - to be as against any more balloons (increase in body weight by pound) as I would be to actually being in that basket as it floated thousands of feet in the air? Or? Would I just convince myself it was ok as long as I didn't look down?
One thing to my credit, I have been weighing in weekly, even if it has just been to confirm my all-I-can-eat lifestyle. I do not need the scales to know my weight is going up, I can feel it in my clothes and I can see it in my face. I know that next dangerous step is to totally quit weighing. That is the ultimate give up. With all my heart I do not want to go there. I am a person of extremes - all or nothing. There is no such thing as tapering down or weaning off. Limiting my Dr Pepper to only one a day only fuels my craving. My only success comes from extreme and rigid. I know this works for me.
This has to move to the top of my list. I will have to manage my time better. I will not let my health suffer because I have been pulled in so many different directions. I know it won't always be this crazy, but it is crazy now and I'm gonna have to work with it. I am 90 days away from another Synvisc injection for my knees. My weight HAS to be under 135# for me to be eligible.
I imagine each balloon above as representing 10#. These balloons are all that I need. I need to shoot down all the others. I'm so glad that I'm not in one of those baskets. What goes up takes work to get back down.
I snagged all these photos off the web.
Here is one for my grandson Ethan. It matches his lunch box!