Saturday, January 28, 2012
It has been 8 months since my last blog. People kept asking me why I did not blog more often. My response? I had nothing else to say. My one and only blog summed it all up. Well.....that has changed.
I have been working like a madwoman to continue my journey. Workouts are brutal sometimes. I hit a 6 month plateau that nearly ruined me!!!! Still, I powered through. I made some nutritional changes at the end of December and change up my workouts again. Finally, I saw some movement on the scale in the downward direction. Suddenly, I felt empowered again. Like I was accomplishing something.
I have been working so friggin' hard ...I expected a loss this week, again. But noooooo...all this work and perfect nutrition...no movement & an occasional gain! I have worked out every day. My scale was unkind yesterday. But, I dragged my a$$ outta bed - with a sore throat...and got on the treadmill for my running program. Half way through I stopped...was tired and aggravated and a little sad. But I pressed "GO" and finished the run schedule.
I just really NEED this to work for me. I have lost over 14 pounds since 12/26/11....but I need to get lower. It has to work. It just has to.
I have managed to sit at work on Fridays with a kitchen full of treats like donuts, croissants, kingcake, cookie cake. I have not indulged in ANY of it. Even managed to stay away from the temptation of order lunch from various places all week long. So, I have been sooo good!!! And I need this to MOVE!!!
Sorry for the rant. But it is heartbreaking to me. And hard to explain. Today was my weigh in w/ my spark team. Kinda feel like a failure ..since I could not really could not report a loss.
I know I should not care what that the scale shows. I know I have lost 176 pounds and that's great.....but it is not enough. I am not done. I told myself after my run yesterday morning that I was better for having completed the run - even if it made no difference on the scale. I KNOW it...but it sometimes doesn't matter. Y'know?