Thursday, January 26, 2012
This is the first time I've decided to make a genuine, concerted effort toward weight loss ... but, more importantly, this is the first time I've done it while posting on a site. I've never been one to do much with this sort of thing: attempts at blogs generally fail within the first month, efforts to document my progress stumbles to the wayside, and my motivation falters until I find myself chowing down on cookies and the sin of dark chocolate once more.
But, this year will be different.
I'll make it different.
See, I know I don't have to. Things 'as they are' seem pretty good from the outside -- stable job, stable place to live, and a minimum of drama in my life as a whole. Things are set in a comfortable rut that I can plod back and forth along without a thought.
But, I'm not happy.
And that is something I just can't abide.
My list of goals is pretty large when one takes into account just how much time and money will go into them -- and how little of the former that I will shortly have. I want to learn how to sew so I can make a couple of costumes for a convention I'd like to attend this year. I want to write a novel. I want to save up enough money to move across the country. I want to lose weight and be healthier.
There hasn't been anything stopping me in the past from achieving the latter-most goal -- and, in fact, I lost 10 pounds last year and successfully kept them off through the holidays despite my baking habit! -- but it might be the easiest of them all for me to achieve. Partly because eating healthier is cheaper when a person's cooking meals for just one person. Partly because I know those costumes will just look a lot better on a slimmer me.
The snag? Time. Time is the only commodity I won't have to squander. I'm starting a second job in a few days -- yes, second -- and will be pushing 70 hour weeks if all goes well. On the one hand, that will make weight loss more difficult -- being in front of a computer all day lends itself well to snacking -- but, on the other, it will teach me how to be much more efficient with the time I do have to myself.
Can I do it?
That's what the nasty little voice at the back of my head whines every time I apply more than a moment's thought to all those things I want to do. It nips at my heels and nibbles at the corners of my mind; it yaps and yowls and whimpers while dragging out the remnants of failures past for me to see. And I need to learn to shut it up. Muzzle it. Cage it. Block it out until I need that nagging self-doubt once more.
I don't know if I'll do it all -- the novel might have to sit this one out! -- but for the rest?
I got this.