Thursday, January 26, 2012

I am sad in the inside but pretending to be happy on the outside, negative feelings deep within but positive to everyone around me. Not believing that this exercising is working and yet I continue to exercise. Having knowledge that it takes time but not understanding why there are not any signs of change. Feeling defeated but not giving up. The battle is on. Little voices saying just give up, your a grandma and grandma's don't have to look nice and then the other little voices telling me I will never know unless I keep trying. It is so exhausting but I do know that I would much rather say I did it than have to say I gave up. So, each day is a battle and I can choose to let the negative side win or the positive side. Today once again team "positive" won the battle.
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    You can do it. You are worth it. I know what you mean about the negative things we tell ourselves. I have to work at staying positive and it really works until I get out of the daily habit of telling myself "Yes you can. It will be hard but it does really get easier with time and consistency." I am working on the same thing.
    2218 days ago
    2218 days ago
    Yay* for the positive. Be strong. I believe you will succeed! emoticon
    2219 days ago
    Being positive becomes a habit but it is a hard thing to maintain at first. Look for the good in everyone you meet and when you see it, tell them. Their joy fuels your joy. Grandmas don't have to look like 39 year olds but they want to be healthy enough to really enjoy the grandkids. Fibro is insidious and depression often accompanies it, so keep moving but also listen to your body when it needs a break. Keep up the smiling and believing that you can be positive. Listen to the angel on your right shoulder whispering "You're doing great. Spread the smiles and joy and knock that devil whispering " You'll fail, you're old, you don't need to look good" off of the other shoulder!
    2219 days ago
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