Thursday, January 26, 2012
I am sad in the inside but pretending to be happy on the outside, negative feelings deep within but positive to everyone around me. Not believing that this exercising is working and yet I continue to exercise. Having knowledge that it takes time but not understanding why there are not any signs of change. Feeling defeated but not giving up. The battle is on. Little voices saying just give up, your a grandma and grandma's don't have to look nice and then the other little voices telling me I will never know unless I keep trying. It is so exhausting but I do know that I would much rather say I did it than have to say I gave up. So, each day is a battle and I can choose to let the negative side win or the positive side. Today once again team "positive" won the battle.