So, in my typical fashion, I spent this morning deep in thought. When I get in these moods, I have a certain playlist I put on my ipod, which tends to help me let my brain wander off into the cosmos and do its thing. hehe.

It started with stepping on the scale this morning. I've been pretty good with my eating (although it could be cleaner) and exercise this week, but when I stepped on the scale, I'll be darned if it didn't read the same number as last week. I have a weigh in coming tomorrow, so I have to admit I started panicking a little. BUT, as I got ready, I started putting things into perspective.

This journey is truly not about a number to me. Sure, I love to watch the numbers go down on the scale, doesn't everybody? We're all trained to be focused on metrics and numbers. But its more than that. This is week 4 back on track and truly tracking my nutrition and fitness, and despite what the scale says, I DO see differences. I FEEL differences. Its funny, but since starting this back in 2009, I've gotten pretty good at reading my body. I know when I start to slip. I can physically see it, probably before anyone else. The first thing I usually notice is my belly getting flabbier. Amazing how fast that can come on (damn you muffin top!). The number on the scale might not even change and yet I notice that. Since kicking it back up a notch this month, I've noticed that its starting to shrink again. I'll never have a six pack, but I'd be happy with firm and taut at this point.

I've been going to kickboxing pretty regularly since September last year, so there is a small group of us that are "regulars". With the new year, class as been SO packed. On Tuesday, as we were getting ready for class, our instructor mentioned that she hates that no one will stand in the front up by her, and she actually asked me and another girl to move our bags up by her so that the newbies could watch us. It threw me completely off guard! I'm by far not the skinniest or most fit person in the class, but it made me pay attention to my abilities and realize I have come a loooong way from when I first started kickboxing so long ago. I can now keep up with the high intensity kicking and punching, squatting and lunging. That to me is worth more than the number on the scale. I FEEL good. I'm not as intimidated when faced with a physical challenge. I have more energy and I'm able to manage the stress in my life.

SO, tomorrow is the weigh in. While I would love to see that number go down, I'm not going to sweat it. As one of my spark friends posted the other day....the weight didn't come on overnight, its not going to leave overnight. Baby steps. The number is just a small part of the overall goal. I'm going to try to stay focused on more of the non-scale victories because they are worth so much more than that number. Those small things are what keep me going. Its also why I titled my page "its not about the number".

Life is good. Slow down, pick your head up and look around every once in awhile. There are so many amazing things to see and experience. Life is about the journey....not the destination :)