Wednesday, January 25, 2012
It's hard to believe it's been almost 3 months. I am still sad. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was the happiest person alive. I have better days than others - this week has not been easy - he contacted me last Thursday, and it was really, really hard on me. He did apologize, for everything that he did, so that's something, at least, but I still struggle with accepting that he made this choice. It still feels wrong. And I don't know how to accept that this is the way things are going to be.
My house went on the market on Monday. I hope that selling it and moving out of this town will help me to shut the door on this whole painful episode. I need to move on.
I am not really back to eating well or exercising as often or as much as I should. I do run with my dogs, almost every day, but only 3 1/2 miles, and I still go to karate, but that's about it. I pretty much eat PB&J, unless I go out to eat with friends. I have started trying to eat a salad a couple of times a week, though. My weight is still hovering around 120, I think, up from 115, but I guess I'm not too worried about my weight - I miss being super-fit, though. I'm just having a hard time finding the motivation to get back into it.
I signed up for a boot camp in April.
I really don't have anything else to say. This has been a really tough time. I feel like I lost everything that I cared about. And I don't know how to rebuild a life that I'm excited or happy about. everything is just grey.