Well since our President is preparing the state of the Union address. I decided to give the "state of my body address." The purpose of which, I will outline the current state of my body, which really is only of interest to me, but since you chose to read this blog, now you must suffer through like all of us did back in the 80's when the State fo the Union address would come on TV, and we were forced to watch because it was on all 3 of our channels!
To start off, though I have made progress, my body is still a mess! I have fibromyalgia and arthritis. Which causes all over body aches and pain in my joints.
For starters, I have an injured elbow. It only hurts when I am doing bicep or tricep work with weights. My bad knee, which I injured in 2 car wrecks several years ago is still "wonky."
(I swear, I do not believe I have ever used the word "Wonky" before in either daily conversation or in a blog entry. Though I believe it does fit here.) Though it functions fine, I always have the feeling it may blow out at any time. My "good" knee has now become my bad knee. Last week while doing The Biggest Loser Cardio Max workout, I hurt it. To be honest it began hurting after the workout stopped. I took 3 days off from exercise to nurse my wounds, and have started again, but it still is hurting off and on. So now I am attempting to workout as hard as I can without further injuring either knee. So when a workout calls for jumping jacks, I attempt to do as many as I can until I feel it is getting rough on my lower extremities, and then I will do the "modified version" of jumping jacks. I started Couch to 5K, a running program for beginners, on Sunday. I am not really a beginner, but I did sit on my arse the last 6 months of 2011, so I decided with my injuries that I would start at the very beginning. Cardiovascular-wise, it is too easy for me, however taking into the account the number of injuries I have, I must remember that slow and steady won the race! However, I have not figured out what modification there is in place of running if it is too hard on my knees. Walking I guess, but that gets boring.... Anyway...I digress...
I also have an injured foot. Though I have not seen a doctor, as I have no health insurance, since I can not find a full time teaching job, (Address that problem Mr. President), I have self-diagnosed myself thanks to Webmd, and believe I have plantar fasiitis, that is an inflammation of the tendon running from the arch of my foot back to my heel. I read online that one should massage and ice the foot...which I do, and buy certain inserts for your shoes. I went to Dr. Scholl's for that and was delighted to see they made an insert specifically for plantar fasiitis! It has helped. Most days I am pain-free in my foot.
Now for more of the bad...
My arms are too fat, my stomach is still flabby, too large, cellulite-y, and unattractive. My thighs are cellulite-y, and they touch. Eww. My back is flabby with one roll on each side, and I generally resemble the shape of Mike Wizowski, but with a head on top of his head. (See past blogs to view Mike Wizowski, if you don't have children, and thus have no clue what the Monsters are named from the movie Monsters Inc.)
However, in less than a month there have been slight, tiny, almost unnoticable, changes....
My face appears smaller, my double chin has shrunk. My arms are less jiggly and are smaller. My belly....the part of my body I hate the most, is smaller, less cellulite-y than before, and I am starting to see the beginning of my waist. My breasts look firmer, my back looks firmer and not as flabby, and my legs look more toned and are starting to come closer to their former shapeliness.
In short, despite the fact that I have only lost a miserable 4 pounds thus far, I am better than I was 3 and a half weeks ago.
I have more energy. I don't get the afternoon drowsiness anymore, exercise has become a source of pleasure- though I do admit to cursing Jillian Micheals out last night while doing TBL last chance workout- overall, I am finding the former athlete that used to be me. I actually enjoying counting calories! I don't feel depressed much anymore. I am excited about becoming the new me.
However, the biggest improvement within my body these last three weeks have been within my mind.
I stopped doubting myself. I stopped telling myself "I can't do it" and believing that I can. I have accepted that with fibromyalgia and arthritis, and my injuries, I have limitations, but they don't and won't stop me.
I am always looking for sources on inspiration. I am becoming an encyclopedia of weight loss knowledge.
I am learning to take my time, and not overwhelm myself with too many goals at once, while also learning that if I don't push myself to my limits I will never see change.
From the outside I know that many people look at me and see an overweight, out of shape, Mom. However, it's what they don't see that makes me who I truly am.
They don't see me running down my road or busting out 50 squats in my livingroom and not even getting sore from it! They don't know that I have set a goal to lose a total of 82 pounds and that in March I am going to run a 3K and later this year a 5K. That sometime in my life I am going to run a marathon.
I can run, jump, play basketball with my kids, do 3 boys push-ups, and get my heels flat on the floor in downward dog. I can grab the bottom of my foot when stretching out my hamstrings. I am flexible!!
Though I have allowed myself to become fat. Fat is not who I am. It does not define what I can do. It does not define who I am or what I will be.
I am a Mother, a girlfriend, a daughter, a teacher, a nurturer, a gardener, a crafter, a genealogist, a runner, an athlete, and an achiever.
Fat? Yeah, that I am not. At least not for much longer.
So in closing, my Body, like our nation, has many problems, but overall, it's still pretty great. I have a long way to go, but look how far I have come!