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Seriously? August?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dear me,

I just realized that I haven't posted a blog on here since last August! Which also means that I probably haven't been working out or tracking my eating habits since then either. No wonder the last time I got on the scale I had GAINED 10 pounds! What is WRONG with me? I have never, EVER been this overweight in my entire life, and it keeps getting worse.

Yes, I have low self-esteem, always have. And yes, I know I'm unhappy where I am and need to take steps to change that. What I don't understand is why I seem to have this mental block keeping me from losing weight and being happy and healthy!

Last week I did work out Monday - Thursday, but completely slacked on Friday, Sat, and Sunday even though I was NOT busy and had plenty of time to work out. I just didn't. I did manage to graze like a cow and watch lots of TV. Luckily we don't keep snacks in the house, but just because it's not chips and ice cream doesn't mean it's not calories I don't need.

I also wonder when I work out for 20 - 30 minutes if it's really enough. I keep telling myself right now I'm just trying to make it a habit, and 20 - 30 min is a lot better than nothing. When I push myself on the elliptical I can burn 150 - 180 calories in 20 min or so, and my tracker says I need to burn 1010 calories a week (roughly 150 cal a day over 7 days) to meet my goal.
Of course, I just found that out today... perhaps that will make it easier to "just do it". I do wonder when I do a work our video how to know what you burn. My elliptical tells me on the screen... this may require some googling.

Well, after my cupcake for breakfast (it was someone's birthday, and I only ate 1!) I'm really not feeling too proud of myself, but I suppose I'll just have to start again. My pants are uncomfortable and actually rolling down at the top because they are too tight and it's driving me crazy! Maybe I should wear these every day to remind myself to keep my eating in check and to make a work out a priority every day.

I had a motivator... I was to be the Matron of Honor in a wedding in August, but now the couple is eloping so no dreaded bridesmaid dress and wedding pictures to worry about now. I DID buy a pretty (and expensive for me) dress for my birthday in april, that is probably 2-3 sizes too small right now. That's about 13 weeks, and if I hit 2 pounds a week I'll be 13 pounds from my goal weight on my birthday! Will I really drop 2 pounds a week if I burn 150 calories a day and watch what I eat??

Well, sorry to anyone who actually reads this. I really blog for myself so I don't go completely insane. I'm deciding right now that tonight I will fit in a work out, even though I'm watching my 3 year old nephew from 6-9pm. On a weeknight... what was I thinking?

Come on me, you can do this!
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