Monday, January 23, 2012
True confessions time. This is the end of my personal 12 week challenge to get back on track. I had lost 8 lb by the end of week 8, and was still at 8 by week 10. I felt that I HAD taken back control. However, in the last two weeks I've gained all 8 lb back. I know, it will go almost as quickly. The real issue is that it is now the dead of winter, and I am in my annual funk.
I would have been happy to lose 8 lb in 12 weeks -- extrapolated, that would have been more than 30 in the course of a year .... I would be truly grateful to lose 20 lb a year (for a number of years, of course:)) Until recently, I had kept 20 of the 25 lbs I lost last year off.
One thing I've learned is that my small area of exercise is crucial. When I walk, I lose. When I don't, I gain. It's that simple.
Excuses time. Neither the dog nor I like to walk in icy/rainy conditions. The dog's worse. You haven't seen funny till you've seen a dog trying to raise two paws. One front and one back, in case you were wondering. I have a great sense of guilt when I walk without him, so much so that I only walk with him. ... When he stays in, I stay in. My husband has promised to walk the dog at night, if I promise to venture out during the day -- with the dog on good days, and without him on bad.
I do have a Rebounder (good quality mini-trampoline), a cheap (but good enough) elliptical and a very old but very good quality stair climber. At my current weight, all of these hurt my knees, so walking is my safe movement.
I receive many kind, helpful and supportive comments. My sparkly friends are wonderful. This community is a lifesaver.
I have a painful memory of three years ago. There was about an inch of snow over a thick layer of ice on all the roads. I fell three times that day. ( I used to play a lot of volleyball, and it is easy to roll out of these falls back to a standing position, and without injury).The last time I fell -- I fell hard -- it was in front of two women walking toward me. They pretended they didn't see me. I told myself they were afraid of the dog, but in truth I think they were mortified for the fat lady falling. I ask you if you would ignore someone -- anyone -- if they fell in front of you? 'Cuz I would not. This was a very disturbing moment for me. It took days for me to grasp that someone would not help ... because I was overweight. I felt very alone, and that is not my normal state of mind. I have always felt part of the huge and powerful energy that is humanity. That moment was the first time I felt that I was written off because of my appearance. It is a strange thing. I think they were embarrassed for me, and then paralyzed about responding. Did they think I was responsible for my downfall ... because I was fat? Who knows. But for the record, the absolute least courtesy that I should have been able to expect from them was a query as to whether I was alright.
On the same subject, my husband saw a very, very heavy woman stumble and roll down the steep entrance to one of our downtown hotels, and no one ran to help her except him. Can you imagine? David Granger, editor in chief of the US Esquire magazine, wrote in a recent editorial about personal generosity that we all think we try hard. "We need to recognize that is probably true of other people. And act like it" -- Be generous to your fellow man. I think that is as strong a thought as any with which to end my blog.
Be generous to your fellow man. And find a way to exercise. The funk will go. It always does.
Thank you for listening:)