Monday, January 23, 2012
How much better my life would be, how much more orderly if I looked at things in comparison.
Not me comparing myself to others, but things to things.
Looking at things I want to buy in comparison to how much time it took to earn the amount that it cost.
Looking at something that I desire at the moment compared to the cost in the long run.
That especially goes for food which often is associated with good times and comeraderie.. but I can have this without going off the deep end, I know that I can.
It is looking at that cheesecake in comparison to how long it has taken me to get to where I am right now and how much it will take to burn it off.
It is making good decisions.. going to bed when I am tired instead of bingeing so that I am not afraid to step on the scale in the morning.
It is not stepping on the scale and not knowing therefore possibly backsliding or staying stagnate compared to the Whoo Hoos of success and the bags of clothes that I donate because they are too baggy and finally fitting into the ones that didn't fit a month ago.
It is the forward movement toward that awesome goal that I have set for myself.
Ahhhhh and the sweet, sweet feeling of " I DID IT"!!!!
I have always wanted to go to the beach in something less than clamdiggers and a tshirt. I want to be able to wear that polka dot bikini!
I remember wishing on stars when I was younger, "Star light Star bright, please make me the person that I so badly want to be"
It is the person that is inside, yet it is not. My vision of myself vs. the reality.
It is brutal.
I used to imagine myself to be a movie star when I was younger whenever I wasn't feeling so happy about myself (which was often). I would just imagine that I was as perfect as I thought the beautiful movie stars were.. and then I was ok... as long as I didn't look in the mirror.
So, in conclusion, it is all this compared to all that.
All the reasons why I want and need to reach my goals compared to all the things that hold me back.
There is a breaking point where I separate the person I used to be with the person I want to be. Where good decisions are made by comparing the choices and the outcomes of the choices. Having it be second nature to just do the right thing more often than not, but also realizing that I don't have to always do it right.. just most of the time. To be a healthy trim person on the outside AND the inside.
I will get there!