Monday, January 23, 2012
I've just realized that it's been a year + a day since I last blogged! The last blog post was a bit of a rant, so I think I'd like to start off 2012 with something a bit more positive.
This last year my weight loss slowed down a lot, I guess because I'm getting closer to my goal. So I'd call the last few months(many months) a plateau. I took a break from counting calories, and was fairly pleased that I was able to manage not to run(eat) like a dog whose just been let off it's leash! Measuring portions, and guessing calorie content/nutritional values etc. has because part of what I do - I don't really think about it, it just happens whenever I go to eat.
I also I very aware of when I'm eating emotionally, still a struggle and I think it always will be a part of me - even then, denial doesn't work for me anymore so it keeps the damage to a minimum.
I read somewhere that emotional eating is about control - you can't control the stressful things that happen in your life, but you can totally control opening the fridge/cupboard and feeding/soothing yourself. It's action that can be taking, and produces immediate feeling of comfort. In spite of the fact that it's short lived, and is a dead-end because of the consequences(weight gain and all the lovely ramifications of a life lived out of balance both literally and figuratively!)
Sometimes you trade one food-fix for another in your comfort-seeking efforts - I found out much to my annoyance in an attempt to quell the frequent stops a Tim Horton's for a coffee fix. While I changed from a medium 2 cream, to a small 1 cream when I started this weight-loss journey, that worked fine until due to a schedule change I found myself buying coffee 'often'!
So in an effort to save money, I bought us all travel mugs and now we make coffee at home to bring with us - yes, this is a money saver...but now, comfort seeker that I am, I now must have a coffee with cream(at home) every day, it's my latest 'thing' - a soothing post-lunch relaxing, life is good kinda 10 minutes.
You might say, well, coffee has caffeine, it's addicting right? Okay, whatever, the point is, I'm an emotional eating,drinking kinda gal, and this is part of the struggle..
Am I going to stop this daily habit? Not just yet(maybe never) - I'm really liking my fair-trade organic coffee with 1/4 c organic whole milk....ahhhh. (Eat your heart out Timmy's!)
I'm also pursuing becoming a personal trainer - unreal, still can't quite wrap my mind around doing this. There are a lot of left-over self esteem issues regularly popping into my thoughts.
"You don't belong here with all these hard-bodies who've been here all their lives, and could bench-press you, with one arm, if you like!"
Ahh, negative self-talk, my favourite....I've managed to shut myself up most of the time with a struggle by trying to listen to the part of me that really sees trying to help someone out of the void...
I'm beginning to see myself as someone whose gotten out, but has a nice view of the bottom ;)
My final certification is in March ....Yikes!!
I will now get ready for my workout - after all, I gotta earn that coffee ;)