Sunday, January 22, 2012
I have so many mixed emotions today. My daughter and I have decided to close our children's consignment shop. We have struggled with the finances and have come to the realization that we are fighting for a lost cause. The economy is just not going to let us prosper. I wish I could wave a magic wand to just POOF it gone. I am overwhelmed at the thought of liquidating all our inventory in the weeks ahead. I know that in the next few weeks I am going to be so stressed.
I just rejoined Sparkpeople at the beginng of this month with a determination that I have not felt in years. I hope I can stand up to the pressure of seeing our hopes go down the drain. We have so many decisions to make. I want to stay strong in my commitment to myself to be healthy for the rest of my life..right now, I feel like I can. I just have fears about staying strong. I know from the past, that some of the stress that I have gone through has made me quit trying. I don't want this to happen again...I don't usually journal, but for some reason today, I felt like I should put my concerns out in the open hoping that I can refer back to this so I will remember that I have to stay strong for my health. I have all the factors for a heart attack, stroke and whatever else may come my way. I want to live the rest of my life as healthy as this body that I have abused so badly will let me.
I am at a time in my life that I look back at the years that I have wasted hating my body. Now, it is not a vain reason...It is a time that I might live a little longer to enjoy my family.
When all the stress is over from closing the store, I am going to start concentrating on decluttering my house, taking time for me and take time to enjoy my grandchildren . With this goal in mind, I think I just might feel a little better....I CAN DO THIS!