Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Ok, I finally did it. I walked a mile! Only took me four days to do it. LOL I have a pedometer and averaging 504 steps per day in a 10 minute walk has me reaching a mile today.
In a way, I'm proud of myself because this was extra walking that I normally would not be doing. I set a goal to start with 10 minutes a day and so far so good. I have severe arthritis in my hips and knees which keeps me from walking very fast or for too far. However, my goal is to add 5 minutes to it every week if I can. (And, I will!)
In another way, I'm disappointed in myself. How did I ever allow myself to get in this bad of shape? It's just insane that a person would allow themselves to have 100 extra pounds on them, have diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, and depression/anxiety. I realize that being obese has played a major part in getting each one of these conditions and I just hate myself for allowing it to continue.
I've told myself that I've made a start and that is better than I was doing a week ago. It's so funny. In my mind, I see myself as a runner, like a marathon runner, always have just never did anything about it. I'm trying to use positive imagery to keep me inspired and motivated. Maybe one day I can be a runner. Probably not a marathon runner, but maybe a 5K.
I guess I'm just being a bit mad at myself today just because I've reached this age in my life at 54 years of age and feel like I'll never get where I want to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still motivated and inspired, mostly from coming to SP everyday and seeing how others are doing, I guess I'm just thinking in the past tonight and seeing where I could have stopped this a long time ago and didn't.
Tomorrow is my weigh in day. I hope I can see some progress on the scale tomorrow. Hopefully that will make me feel better about myself. I have a bad self esteem issue and believing in myself is hard sometimes.
SP and it's members are GREAT! I could never even attempt all this without it. Thanks guys!